(#322) Excellence And The Ordinary

Posted on July 24, 2016 by Steve Piscitelli

Those striving for and maintaining excellence constantly
want to know more—get to the next level.

Early in her book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Angela Duckworth referenced a 1980s sociological study titled “The Mundanity of Excellence.” Intrigued by the title, I followed the citation and read the study by Dan Chambliss.

Chambliss, after having studied competitive swimmers, concluded that “Excellence is mundane. Superlative performance is really a confluences of dozens of small skills and activities…and each of those tasks seems small…that have been learned and consistently practiced…So, the ‘little things’ really do count” (p. 81).

He found that excellence goes beyond talent to the triumvirate of technique, discipline, and attitude. The “winners don’t choke” because they consistently practice like it’s the real thing.” And they do one more thing: They go beyond sheer numbers of hours of practice to the quality of that practice.

Yes, hard work is necessary but excellence is not just about doing more [quantitative improvement]. There is a need for “qualitative improvements which produce significant changes in the level of achievement” (p. 83).

So excellence is about continually striving to do better by doing the little things over and over and over again. Then moving to something a little bit tougher.  And doing it over and over and over again.

Hence the mundanity of excellence. Ordinary tasks taken to extraordinary levels.

Video recommendation of the week. “Ode to Excellence” from Your World Within

Duckworth writes about being “distracted by talent” (p. 15). Chambliss presents his evidence as to “why talent does not led to excellence” (p. 78).  They both found with their research that it can become easy (an excuse) to simply say that some people are just naturally gifted (talented) and that is why they perform at a top level. There is more to the equation.

Example. My good friend Billy Bowers has a natural talent for music. What he added to my two CDs with his lead guitar riffs, rhythm colorizations, and bass bottom reflects a gifted musician. No question. But to chalk it up to simply, “Oh, he has talent” would be a gross injustice.  Billy has honed and raised his craft and talent to new levels for decades.  He plays a gig for four hours and then comes home and practices. And he does it over and over.  The whole package makes for excellence. (NOTE: When I called Billy to make sure my characterization above was accurate, what was he doing? Reading about guitars.  He is an habitual learner by reading, watching, listening, doing—and repeating.)

Photo by Steve Piscitelli

Photo by Steve Piscitelli

And I think the excellent ones around us stay in the student mode.  The late architect Frank Lloyd Wright reportedly said that “An expert is someone who has stopped learning because ‘he knows’.”  Those striving for and maintaining excellence constantly want to know more—get to the next level. Or as Chambliss said, they make quantitative and qualitative leaps.

Think of excellence as embodying effort, focus, tweaks, caring, focus, and action.

Over and over and over.

Make it an inspiring week and H.T.R.B. as needed.

You can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

Check out my latest podcast (about ex-offenders and resilience).  You can find my podcast series at The Growth and Resilience Network (http://stevepiscitelli.com/video-media/podcasts).

Check out my website  (http://www.stevepiscitelli.com/programs.html) for programming information as well as details about upcoming webinars (http://www.stevepiscitelli.com/webinars).

My books Choices for College Success (3rd edition) and Study Skills: Do I Really Need This Stuff?  (3rd edition) are published by Pearson Education.

(c) 2016. Steve Piscitelli. All rights reserved.

 

Posted in action, Being REMARKABLE, Grit, growth, habits, intentional growht, Life lessons | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

(#321) The Nudge: Everything Sends A Message

Posted on July 17, 2016 by Steve Piscitelli

We take chances, we fail, we learn, we grow,
and we move forward.

 Listening to a TED Radio Hour (June 24, 2016 show) piece reminded me of the power of words and self-talk.  The theme of the show was that to change habits or make changes sometimes all we need is a gentle nudge in the correct direction.  The form of that nudge is critical.  More specifically, how the nudge is presented will have an impact on results.

One of the interview guests, Carol Dweck, noted researcher and Stanford University psychologist, pointed to her research on mindsets.  She emphasized that when we want to encourage (nudge) people to improve and continue to grow we need to pay attention to our words and actions. Sounds simple but the subtleties are immense. Leaders, parents, and teachers would do well to remember that everything we say and do sends a message.

For instance, she cautions that we need to praise the effort not the intellect of a student or employee.  Praising the intellect can (according to her research) cause a person to avoid risks. Why? Because if I fail then what does that say about my intellect that I’ve been praised for? So, I take the less vulnerable route and listen to that little voice on my shoulder that advises me to remain perfect and not bring question to my intellect.  This, Dweck says, is the stuff of “fixed mindsets.”

Image: amenic181 @ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image: amenic181 @ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

She found that when we praise the process (the strategy, the grit, or the progress) that nurtures growth mindsets. We take chances, we fail, we learn, we grow, and we move forward.

Early this week I was speaking to a community activist who shared her dismay with the obsession in Florida with testing school children.  Everything is about the test and getting the right answers to the test.  Either your right or your wrong—and the consequences can be immense for our children.

Rather than marking something “wrong,” Dweck suggested using the words “Not Yet.”  It does not excuse the error. It actually points out the error—but with hope for a better future the next time the problem or task is attempted. Positive and powerful rather than demoralizing and demeaning.

Think of the impact on leaders and employees when we focus on a “Not Yet” as opposed to a dismissive response to an error. Such a mindful approach helps our capabilities to grow.  This is not fuzzy talk saying we have unlimited capabilities. Rather, this approach helps us to better know our capabilities.

Video recommendation of the week.  In this short clip, Professor and Author, Richard Thaler, connect the notion of the nudge with being a “choice architect.”

Don’t forget the power of words—to others and to yourself.  Everything sends a message. What message do we send ourselves….and what messages do we accept from others? How can you be a choice architect in your life and the lives of others?

Make it an inspiring week and H.T.R.B. as needed.

You can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

Check out my latest podcast (about ex-offenders and resilience).  You can find my podcast series at The Growth and Resilience Network (http://stevepiscitelli.com/video-media/podcasts).

Check out my website  (http://www.stevepiscitelli.com/programs.html) for programming information as well as details about upcoming webinars (http://www.stevepiscitelli.com/webinars).

My books Choices for College Success (3rd edition) and Study Skills: Do I Really Need This Stuff?  (3rd edition) are published by Pearson Education.

(c) 2016. Steve Piscitelli. All rights reserved.

 

Posted in amplifying, Being REMARKABLE, change, collaboration, Communication, effective teaching, influence, Personal growth, Personal Wellbeing, plussing, self-efficacy | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

(#320) No Need To Be An Island

Posted on July 10, 2016 by Steve Piscitelli

Regardless of your calling or situation, collaboration and communication
are powerful forces. There is no need to be an island.*

One aspect of teaching that I enjoyed was that each time I entered the room with my students, I could close the door and “do my thing!”

One of the greatest challenges of teaching was that each time I entered the room with my students, I could close the door and “do my thing!”

You see, the freedom to “do our thing” and be creative and “spin our magic” can come with a price. If we do not remain mindful we can, over time, become isolated.  We can easily get lulled into the mindset that we are an island, separate from our colleagues.  And we can lose the power and strength of what a united teaching and learning community can bring to us.

When Tony Hsieh moved the Zappos headquarter to Las Vegas, he limited the number of entrances and exists for the building. This, he believed, would better orchestrate a flow that encourages “collisions,” serendipity and progress between and amongst employees.

Photo by Steve Piscitelli (c)

Photo by Steve Piscitelli (c)

We lose that serendipity in our calling when we choose to wall ourselves off from our colleagues. This self-imposed isolation could have untold negative repercussions on our teaching, student learning, and on our personal and collegial resilience.  And the same can hold for any other calling or life endeavor.

You have a great deal to share with your colleagues. And they have a great deal to share with you.  Basketball coach Mike Krzyzewski (Coach ‘K’) of Duke said successful teams play like a fist. The individual fingers represent communication, trust, collective responsibility, care and pride.

One of the principles of student success calls for students to learn about and use appropriate resources for their growth and development.  In isolation, they may well flounder. With collaboration, they have a better chance to succeed.

A couple may have difficulties figuring out why they have “lost the spark.” Without outside assistance they may struggle to find the real issues challenging their relationship.

I purchased a new camera this week. As the cliché goes, I don’t know what I don’t know about cameras. So, part of my research included me reaching out to friends with photographic experience.

At my former college, I was fortunate to have the opportunity (along with a colleague who was a counselor with student services) to develop and deliver a workshop series that looked at student challenges.  We brought faculty and advisors together to share insights and strategies.

I find it interesting that so many people willingly share intimate experiences and tribulations with their “friends” in the social media public space but will not walk to the office next to them to seek feedback from colleagues sharing the same workspace challenges.

Regardless of your calling or situation, collaboration and communication are powerful forces.

There is no need to be an island.

Video recommendation of the week. Clay Shirky and his view of collaboration.

[*NOTE: This post draws excerpts from my forthcoming book to promote collegial conversations and resilience.  Stay tuned for more information in the months to come.]

Make it an inspiring week and H.T.R.B. as needed.

You can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

Check out my latest podcast (about ex-offenders and resilience).  You can find my podcast series at The Growth and Resilience Network (http://stevepiscitelli.com/video-media/podcasts).

Check out my website  (http://www.stevepiscitelli.com/programs.html) for programming information as well as details about upcoming webinars (http://www.stevepiscitelli.com/webinars).

My books Choices for College Success (3rd edition) and Study Skills: Do I Really Need This Stuff?  (3rd edition) are published by Pearson Education.

(c) 2016. Steve Piscitelli. All rights reserved.

 

Posted in assumptions, authenticity, awareness, collaboration, collegiality, Communication, Connection-Disconnection, intentionality, Life lessons, Mindfulness, Personal growth, problem solving, Reflective practice, Relationship, resilience, teamwork | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

(#319) Relationships and Leadership

Posted on July 3, 2016 by Steve Piscitelli

The demagogic hot head may catch attention—for a while.
But soon he will burn his staff out.

Relationships. The concept keeps appearing in one way or another. If we fail to pay attention to the importance of authentic human connections, we do so at our peril. Relationship development is not a soft skill.  It is very much an essential skill.

A recent article about leadership lists ten characteristics that successful and likable leaders possess. As you read the list below do you see a common connection?

These leaders:

  1. “Form personal connections
  2. Are approachable
  3. Are humble
  4. Are positive
  5. Are even-keeled
  6. Are generous
  7. Demonstrate integrity
  8. Read people
  9. Appreciate people
  10. Have substance.”

Relationships connect each of the above items. You will find empathy in there as well (see #6, 8, and 9). A leader—or anyone for that matter—with these characteristics has a human face.  She is not a manipulative, power-hungry and insecure person looking to secure her turf.

People with these characteristics make you feel like you’re the only one in the room (see #6 above).  As with anyone leading a group, workshop or team, it should never be about the leader. It should always be about the audience—the people in front or behind the leader.

Some may read the above list and say it’s too “soft” as a real leader has to get results and that requires tough action and bottom-line thinking. Being “likable” has nothing to do with leadership success this logic may suggest.

Image: imagerymajestic/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image: imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Well, if a leader has integrity he knows that performance and quality must be present. His work models what he wants his followers to emulate. He won’t get that by constantly barking at and demeaning team members (antithesis of #1, 2, 4, and 9.). Oh sure, the demagogic hot head (antithesis of #5) may catch attention—for a while. But soon he will burn his staff out. They will be reluctant to take chances or be creative. They will fly under the radar for fearing of being cajoled and embarrassed (antithesis of #6 and 8.)

Reflect on this for a moment. Think of a time you worked for a tyrant, or, at the least, a thoroughly disagreeable boss.  Perhaps this person disregarded you as a person and treated you as an expendable part in a larger piece of soulless machinery. Can you truthfully say that each morning when you awakened you said, “Gee, I can’t wait to get back to work for more belittling and distress!”?

In the Career Playbook: Essential Advice for Today’s Aspiring Young Professional, James M. Citrin notes that relationship building is a key skill to entering, maintaining, and thriving in a career. You may have heard people talk about “being a fit for a company’s culture.” According to Citrin, “this means that, if you’re interviewing for a job, the interviewer will be assessing you partly on the basis of personal relationships. Do they like you? Do they sense that they can trust you? Do they feel comfortable around you?” (p. 45)

I learned this lesson years ago when sitting on a college screening committee. We eventually forwarded the top finalists to the campus president. He told the committee that the major consideration for him, when he had his meeting with the candidates, was whether or not he could get along with them. In a word, relationships.

Video recommendation of the week.  In this short clip, Citrin reminds us about the importance of building great relationships.

Think about leaders you have followed—and have followed gladly. And think about people you lead. How do you treat them?

Make it an inspiring week and H.T.R.B. as needed.

You can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

Check out my latest podcast (about ex-offenders and resilience).  You can find my podcast series at The Growth and Resilience Network (http://stevepiscitelli.com/video-media/podcasts).

Check out my website  (http://www.stevepiscitelli.com/programs.html) for programming information as well as details about upcoming webinars (http://www.stevepiscitelli.com/webinars).

My books Choices for College Success (3rd edition) and Study Skills: Do I Really Need This Stuff?  (3rd edition) are published by Pearson Education.

(c) 2016. Steve Piscitelli. All rights reserved.

 

Posted in leadership, Life lessons, Relationship | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

(#318) Bigger, Shinier, Newer Not Necessarily Better

Posted on June 26, 2016 by Steve Piscitelli

Maybe I can help start a small movement for change
in the big box.

Until March of this year, I belonged to a small, unobtrusive, not fancy, neighborhood beach gym. For eighteen years. Like Cheers, everyone knew your name. A few years ago, some members opted to join the new big box gym a half mile up the road.  I never saw the attraction.  Always thought a twenty pound barbell was a twenty pound barbell no matter the room in which I lifted.

Then our quaint, friendly and welcoming gym closed. Most of the membership, including my wife and me, ended up at the big box gym.  I’ve been a member now for three months. You know what, a twenty pound barbell is still a twenty pound barbell.  And there is not nearly, pound for pound, the camaraderie like we had at the smaller facility. Yes, it does take time to build but “the feel” is not there. The same soul and connection does not exist.

Bigger, shinier, and newer is not necessarily better.

Image: StuartMiles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image: StuartMiles/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In a blog post last week, Seth Godin reminded us “it’s worth taking a moment to think about whether bigger is the point.  Maybe better is?”

Bigger may be able to provide more of whatever the product and service is. And it may provide a cheaper price. But bigger often doesn’t equate to having soul and connection.

I started thinking of other examples.

The cozy pizza joint down the road;

The locally-owned bookstore around the corner;

Big publishing houses vs. self-publishing;

A two-attorney start-up firm vs. a huge multi-layer law firm.

Big does not have to—and many times does not—equate with negatives. There are positives for sure. And at times big can help small.  Take American Express (big) supporting and promoting Small Business Saturday.

Video recommendation of the week.

But sometimes the bigness gets in the way of authentic relationships.  Sometimes, as Tom Petty sings, “the boys upstairs they just don’t understand anymore.”

Back to my new gym.  Rather than merely yearning for the past, I’ve taken on a personal mission of reaching out to employees who work in the big box. Like we did in our smaller gym, I learn their names, always say hello, and ask a genuine question or two about them.

Maybe I can help start a small movement in the big box. May you can as well.

Make it an inspiring week and H.T.R.B. as needed.

You can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

You can find my podcast series at The Growth and Resilience Network (http://stevepiscitelli.com/video-media/podcasts). 

Check out my website  (http://www.stevepiscitelli.com/programs.html) for programming information as well as details about upcoming webinars (http://www.stevepiscitelli.com/webinars).

My books Choices for College Success (3rd edition) and Study Skills: Do I Really Need This Stuff?  (3rd edition) are published by Pearson Education.

(c) 2016. Steve Piscitelli. All rights reserved.

Posted in authenticity, awareness, branding, bureaucracy, Civility, collaboration, engagement, fitness, Friendship, growth, institutional climate, institutional culture, Life lessons, Mindfulness, mindset, resilience, teamwork | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

(#317) Finding Your Passion Is Just The Beginning

Posted on June 19, 2016 by Steve Piscitelli

Once we discover what we feel is our passion
(or at least, our interest that could become a passion), the work has only begun. 

One day in class, a thirty-something student raised her hand to ask a question about my professional journey. She was a conscientious student who was searching and attempting to zero in on her life’s passion.  She wondered, “How long did it take you to get to where you are, professor?” I reflected for a moment, thinking of my writing, teaching and speaking careers. “Oh,” I said, “about thirty years and I still have a lot to learn.”

I could literally see the her shoulders slump, her face scrunch up and her head lower and shake ever so slightly from side to side.

She knew she would have to work. Just not quite that long.

In her book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Angela Duckworth debunks the notion that passion is something that comes to us like a bolt from the blue, a sudden revelation that changes our life’s trajectory; and that once discovered we have it made. She states that science has proven that “passion for your work is a little bit discovery, followed by a lot of development, and then a lifetime of deepening.” (p. 103)  I think my student knew about the discovery; had a bit of understanding about the development; but little clue about the deepening. And anecdotally, I don’t think her case is that unique.

Image: dan/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image: dan/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The discovery part of the passion process comes from Brailling the world. Exploration, discovery, curiosity and interactions.  It’s not a one and done that we will discover with simple introspection Duckworth contends.   This is where “play” can be very beneficial. It allows us to dabble, have fun and sort through experiences.  (I’m not sure we will find our life’s passion/interests by being glued to “breaking news alerts” which are, basically, somebody else telling us what they discovered and why we should care about it.) We have to find our own agenda.

Once we discover what we feel is our passion (or at least, our interest that could become a passion), the work has only begun.  We have to develop it.  Like a talent or skill, we need to engage in, as Duckworth calls it, “a proactive period of interest development.”  We have to stoke the curiosity. When we continue to read, listen, observe, and participate we gather more information. The interest deepens—or we might discover this isn’t what we really want. And the process begins anew.

The final piece of the passion journey, according to Duckworth, comes in the form of having “encouraging supporters…who provide ongoing stimulation and information” about our passion.  This feedback is critical.  I’ve written often on this blog about the importance of relationships.  Duckworth affirms the importance of supportive networks.

The student who asked about my journey had enrolled herself in college to find her way.  Her question of me represented one small piece of her journey—a slice of her discovery path. Her physical reactions to length of time required to polish the passion indicated another benchmark on her journey: she would need grit to persevere and reach her long-term goal.

Video recommendation of the week.

If you have not viewed Duckworth’s popular TED Talk, I’d recommend it. Below you will find a short interview where she hits broadly on the idea of perseverance.

Where do you stand in the discovery, development, and deepening cycles? How do you (or could you) play the role of supportive network for someone who is in the discovery or development mode? Do you encourage the process and joy of play (for others and yourself) when it comes to the discovery phase?  How do you stay curious? What have you done today to deepen your passion? Are your goals, in fact, Hell, Yeah goals that inspire you to enjoy the journey of work and learning?

Stay curious about your development and growth, my friend.

Make it an inspiring week  and H.T.R.B. as needed.

You can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

You can find my podcast series at The Growth and Resilience Network (http://stevepiscitelli.com/video-media/podcasts). 

Check out my website  (http://www.stevepiscitelli.com/programs.html) for programming information as well as details about upcoming webinars (http://www.stevepiscitelli.com/webinars).

My books Choices for College Success (3rd edition) and Study Skills: Do I Really Need This Stuff?  (3rd edition) are published by Pearson Education.

(c) 2016. Steve Piscitelli. All rights reserved.

 

Posted in accountability, creating your future, Critical Thinking, Discipline, Dreams, focus, fortitude, Goals, Grit, growth, habits, Passion, resilience | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

(#316) Process, Trust, And Organizational Growth: An Optimistic Approach

Posted on June 12, 2016 by Steve Piscitelli

Trust is what teams, students, teachers, employees and leaders
need in order to challenge the process on the way to a better answer.  

Earlier this week I stumbled upon some notes from a meeting I attended more than two years ago. The tile: “Conversations about Solutions.”  My colleagues and I were discussing various student challenges and possible solutions.   My jottings revealed a real plussing/amplifying session—not a collective monologue of gripes. We were pitching not bitching.

That day we focused on the fact that so many of our students came to us looking for “the right answer” instead of searching for an understanding about the process.  Unfortunately, this oft-stated complaint about our educational system highlights the emphasis placed on minutiae and following the leader, rather than on reflection and process.

Coincidentally, I recently watched a TED Talk by Astro Teller of X (formerly Google X).    He used two related metaphors to describe how he and his colleagues tackle issues of importance: Moonshots and The Factory.

Moonshots represent their ideas—big and audacious visions about how the future can be different. The Factory is where they do the messy work of both “harnessing enthusiastic optimism” and working “to kill our project today.”

Image: khunaspix@FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image: khunaspix@FreeDigitalPhotos.net

At first it sounded contradictory and negative to me. On one hand Teller and his team would come up with wonderful ideas and with the other carve them up. Actually, it is an enlightened and positive approach to teamwork, solutions, and process.

Teller and his colleagues wanted and needed to know about the Achilles heel of their thinking up front before they got too far along in the process.  More than just looking for “the right answer,” they wanted to be sure to expose as many obstacles as possible; know what lies ahead from the get-go.

Contrast that with the ineffective manager who presents an idea (many times dictated from above) to a committee under the guise of “let’s have a discussion.” Unfortunately, anyone who disagrees or comes up with authentic concerns gets tagged as “not a team player.”  No plussing allowed. Forget about amplifying. Forget about the messiness of exposing an Achilles Heel. You end up with people moving lockstep toward the dictated “right answer” and the process be damned.

Back to Teller and his cronies.  They don’t see exposing flaws as a negative or that the moonshot on the drawing table is dead.  The exposed (possible) flaws allow for deeper conversation and a more profound product. Or, if needed, postponing or ending the project.

A personal example. I am at the point now with a book manuscript where I need to/want to have deep and reflective feedback.  Not meaningless compliments. I need authentic and honest feedback. Toward that end I’ve sent my work to nearly two dozen experts and practitioners around the nation for their considered critiques.  This manuscript is my current “moonshot” and I need to engage in the messy work of revision before I put it out there in the marketplace.  It’s the process that makes the final product, not the final product that dictates the process. I trust in the people I have solicited for input.

Maslow identified security as the second level of his famous hierarchy of needs.  For security we need trust. And trust is what teams, students, teachers, employees, and leaders need in order to challenge the process on the way to a better answer.  True, a math problem may only have one correct answer, but shouldn’t we at least embrace the eloquence of the process?  Who knows maybe that will set the stage for embracing the messiness of creativity and teamwork on the way to another product.  As one of my colleagues once said, “Let’s get the thinking better.”

Author Brené Brown recently stated, “We need cultures that support the idea that vulnerability is courage and also the birthplace of trust, innovation, learning, risk-taking, and having tough conversations.”

Video recommendation of the week.

Again, Teller of X: “Being audacious and working on big risky things makes people inherently uncomfortable…Enthusiastic skepticism is not the enemy of boundless optimism. It’s optimism’s perfect partner.”

Make it an inspiring week as you pursue your authentic “hell, yeah!” goals.—H.T.R.B. as needed.

You can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

You can find my podcast series at The Growth and Resilience Network (http://stevepiscitelli.com/video-media/podcasts). 

Check out my website  (http://www.stevepiscitelli.com/programs.html) for programming information as well as details about upcoming webinars (http://www.stevepiscitelli.com/webinars).

My books Choices for College Success (3rd edition) and Study Skills: Do I Really Need This Stuff?  (3rd edition) are published by Pearson Education.

(c) 2016. Steve Piscitelli. All rights reserved.

 

Posted in amplifying, assumptions, authenticity, awareness, collaboration, courage, Creativity, Critical Thinking, effective meetings, growth, leadership, Life lessons, Passion, plussing, transformational leadership | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

(#315) Play Your Song, Now

Posted on June 5, 2016 by Steve Piscitelli

What song lives in you?

I had the opportunity to listen to Kai Kight speak this past week in Austin, Texas. He titled his thoughts “Composing Your World.” Using his violin and stories from his journey, he poignantly drove home two oft-repeated life lessons.

Image: dan/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image: dan/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

1. Don’t regret what might have been. Kai related how years ago his mother, with tears in her eyes, told him of her breast cancer diagnosis. The tears were not tears of fear, not tears for the unknown or the chemo treatments that lay ahead. No, they were, Kai told the audience, tears for the past. Tears for experiences not lived.
2. Play your song. Kai is an accomplished violinist. He can masterfully play the masters. But as he developed his craft he remained restless. He wanted to play his own music. Every opportunity he had, he would construct his own pattern of notes and melodies. These excited him. The scripted music that his conductor led the orchestra through did not juice him.

Video recommendation of the week.

Kai’s metaphor gives us a another powerful reminder to use our precious time to construct and live a life of meaning. Rather than shedding tears for an unfulfilled past, embrace the promising present, play your song, and think of the wonderful opportunities in front of you.

A number of years ago I delivered a breakfast keynote to a group of realtors. As the audience finished their meal, I encouraged them to evaluate their lives and consider being “responsibly selfish.” That is, I challenged them to take care of their needs. Get to the gym, pick up the musical instrument they always wanted to learn to play, write that novel that was inside of them, or make the difference they can in their communities. Live their authentic lives.

I remember how one person in the audience got upset with my message and later sent me an email stating that “selfish” is easy but not good.  For me, that is where “responsibly” comes in. Think of it as an “investment” in yourself. It’s not license to ignore responsibilities, go into debt because “I deserve [fill in the blank],” or lead a hedonistic lifestyle for the sake of meaningless pleasures.

We all have responsibilities to tend to (children, business, partners, financial obligations, and our own health and well-being for instance). AND we have an opportunity (obligation?) to experience our lives, embrace the present, and create our own songs.

What notes are inside of you? What song can you share with the world to make it a better place and you a more complete person?

Make it an inspiring week as you pursue your authentic “hell, yeah!” goals.—H.T.R.B. as needed.

You can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

You can find my podcast series at Growth and Resilience (http://stevepiscitelli.com/video-media/podcasts). 

Check out my website  (http://www.stevepiscitelli.com/programs.html) for programming information as well as details about upcoming webinars (http://www.stevepiscitelli.com/webinars).

My books Choices for College Success (3rd edition) and Study Skills: Do I Really Need This Stuff?  (3rd edition) are published by Pearson Education.

(c) 2016. Steve Piscitelli. All rights reserved.

Posted in Appreciation, assumptions, authenticity, Being REMARKABLE, Being selfish, courage, Goals, growth, Integrity, intentionality, life success, Purpose, wisdom | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

(#314) P2P: Building A Story

Posted on May 29, 2016 by Steve Piscitelli

Every encounter is a story waiting to happen;
a story waiting to be written.

This blog has often covered the importance of relationship building. It remains a key feature of my 7Rs model for for student, workplace, and life success.  Each principle touches and impacts the others. Healthy relationships are integral to growth and resilience.

You’ve heard of “B2B” (Business-to-Business) relationships. There’s also “P2P” relationships (Peer-to-Peer) in the area of file sharing and computing resource sharing.

I’d like to put a twist on “P2P” for “Person-to-Person” connections. A most basic form of human interaction. We meet someone, we bond, or we don’t. The meeting can be strictly utilitarian, a passing connection never to be entered again. Like the one you might experience at an airport restaurant or checkpoint.

Or the meeting can lead to something more lasting. Whatever the purpose of the meeting, what happens in that initial instant can leave a lasting impact.

A recent article on Entrepreneur.com stated “Increasingly, investors look at customer retention to determine whether an entrepreneur’s product or service will ultimately succeed in the marketplace.”

Colleges and universities focus on student retention.  While reasons students remain at a school are as varied as the students themselves, factors such as quality of course work, affordability, feeling of connectedness with the campus and classmates, and quality of facilities and experiences contribute to overall satisfaction.

Alessandra Ghini, helped Apple and Starbucks market their products.  She said in a recent interview, “We focused on the moment of connection, whether it’s a barista knowing your name, or you having a quiet moment over coffee with a friend.”

Every relationship is a story waiting to happen; a story waiting to be written.

Image: amenic181@FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image: amenic181@FreeDigitalPhotos.net

We just changed our home cable service, in part, due to great customer service by one company, and not so impressive customer connection by another.

A few weeks ago, my wife and I walked into a local national/franchised sandwich store here at the beach. Here is the story that staff created that day.  They mumbled a scripted hello as we walked through the door barely making eye contact or showing any authentic emotion.  One thing led to another and we finally requested a refund and walked out.  Later that night I posted about our poor service and received the following email from some company representative.  It appears here verbatim without any edits by me (except that I did remove the company name from the email):

Mr.Steve, i am sorry to hear that your last visit wasn’t a pleasant experience. we understand the service wasn’t adequate or up to par with [company name] standards. we will make sure this never happens to you or any of our customers again. we would love to keep you as a customer and keep you returning to our restaurant. we hope that we get to see you in the future, cause we wont allow this to be a reoccuring problem. if you have any questions or would like to speak to the manager. fell free to call with and concerns or questions. we will be happy to provide you with the service you just seemed to lack on your last visit. 

Hmm. A typical non-response response (and more).  I also received a tweet in another company correspondence stating “we would like to make this right. We have notified the District Manager. We hope you give us another chance.”

Never heard another thing from the company. I assume they will do what they said. But the company wrote the end of that story for me.

The barista who knows your name and drink order makes a connection and begins a story.  The non-attentive (or poorly-trained) staff also create a story. Two different beginnings creating two different endings.

Every interaction creates a story. Some short. Some long-lasting. Some forgettable. Some memorable.

Make it an inspiring week as you pursue your authentic “hell, yeah!” goals.—H.T.R.B. as needed.

You can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

You can find my podcast series at Growth and Resilience (http://stevepiscitelli.com/video-media/podcasts). 

Check out my website  (http://www.stevepiscitelli.com/programs.html) for programming information as well as details about upcoming webinars (http://www.stevepiscitelli.com/webinars).

My books Choices for College Success (3rd edition) and Study Skills: Do I Really Need This Stuff?  (3rd edition) are published by Pearson Education.

(c) 2016. Steve Piscitelli. All rights reserved.

 

 

Posted in accountability, Appreciation, authenticity, branding, common sense, customer service, emotional intelligence, leadership | Tagged , , , , , | 6 Comments

(#313) Information Literacy 2.0: WHO Is The WHO Of Your Information?

Posted on May 22, 2016 by Steve Piscitelli

We need to pay more attention to the sources of our information and 
we now need to question whether the sources are real people.

A note to my blog followers: This week’s post marks the sixth anniversary for this blog. Thank you for following and sharing my weekly posts. It all began in an Austin, Texas hotel room at the end of May, 2010.  I had just completed facilitating a session at the NISOD annual conference and decided it was time I dove in to the blogosphere.  Please let me know if you have ideas for future topics. Now, let’s begin year #7 for the Growth and Resilience blog.
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It has become cliché to talk about the explosion of information. We’ve either seen or heard statistics like:

  • 5 million pieces of content are posted on Facebook every minute.
  • 72 hours of video content are uploaded to YouTube every minute.
  • Nearly 300,000 tweets are posted on Twitter every minute.

And we could go on about the millions of emails sent, thousands upon thousands of photos and video shared on Instagram or Snapchat.  Blogs, like this one hosted by WordPress.com, number in the tens of millions.

In both of my books, I wrote about basic information literacy skills.  I cautioned that just because there’s a lot of information doesn’t mean that it’s good information. Even did a short video on the topic a few years ago.

The third question I pose in the video above (“How will you evaluate the information you found?”) takes on added importance today. Not only must we determine whether accurate information has been presented, we need to pay more attention to the source of the information. When I speak about source evaluation, I stress the importance of understanding bias, scope, depth, and background of a source.  According to an article in the May 2016 edition of Wired, we now need to question whether the sources are real people.

Huh?

Samuel Woolley and Phil Howard present an argument that bots—“spam accounts that post autonomously using programmed scripts” and fictitious names—have inundated the web. According to TwitterAudit, for instance (on May 22, 2016), @realdonaldtrump registers at 76% real and 24% “fake followers.”  @hillaryclinton comes in at 79% real and 21% “fake followers.”  Go to TwitterAudit.com and give it a spin.  As the site itself states, this is not perfect (meaning, it too would need more vetting and evaluation as part of an information literacy exercise.)  Oh, and when I typed in @stevepiscitelli, the “audit” showed 13% “fake followers.” Hmm.  Note: These findings are not indicting a person or entity that it is creating the fake followers. I know I have not done that. The findings do indicate that we need to at least ask some questions about the numbers and comments concerning “followers.”

“So what’s the big deal?” you may ask. According to Woolley and Howard, “Automated campaign communications are a very real threat to our democracy. We need more transparency about where bots are coming from, and we need it now, or bots could unduly influence the 2016 election.”

Image: digitalart/ FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Image: digitalart/
FreeDigitalPhotos.net

And, it can go beyond election campaigns to other discourse on the web.  Not only do we need to discern what is real, but we now have to pay attention to who is real.   This may not be a totally new dimension as we’ve had robocalls for years. If you were around during the Watergate years you may remember the “dirty tricks” campaign associated with Donald Segretti of the Committee to Re-Elect the President (Nixon).  But the stated magnitude and reach of these bots is enough to give us pause.

In a social media culture that gets wrapped up in numbers of followers, likes, shares, and views, bots add another dimension.

Read wisely, my friend.

Make it an inspiring week as you pursue your authentic “hell, yeah!” goals.—H.T.R.B. as needed.

You can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

You can find my podcast series at Growth and Resilience (http://stevepiscitelli.com/video-media/podcasts). 

Check out my website  (http://www.stevepiscitelli.com/programs.html) for programming information as well as details about upcoming webinars (http://www.stevepiscitelli.com/webinars). 

My books Choices for College Success (3rd edition) and Study Skills: Do I Really Need This Stuff?  (3rd edition) are published by Pearson Education.

(c) 2016. Steve Piscitelli. All rights reserved.

Posted in information literacy, Integrity, intentionality, Life lessons, Reflection, Reflective practice, relevance | Tagged , , , , , , | 5 Comments