(Issue #637) Tying Your Shoes and Wisdom


We can all benefit when we acknowledge and embrace that
the light of wisdom shines from generation to generation.

~~~~

What does wisdom mean?

The answer to that question differs from person to person, group to group, and day to day. We can define wisdom as insight, good judgment, common sense, and wise action. I think, however, you can see the rub. What you consider insight, good judgment, common sense, and wise action will be viewed by someone else as lacking in all those qualities.

When I asked a second-grade class what advice younger students need to consider, six words came from one of the students.

Learn How to Tie Your Shoes!

On the surface, the answer seems cute, obvious, and lacking wisdom. “Of course, we need to learn to tie our shoes!” you might say. Someone else might counter with, “No need to do that. I wear slip-on loafers!”

I’d suggest we pause, move beyond the literal words, and consider a deeper meaning. Does the statement conjure images of personal growth or individual freedom? After all, when we learned to tie our shoes, we became more independent from our parents. We walked with less fear of tripping on the laces by securing those loops and knots.

The point? No matter how old or young the wisdom sharer may be, his or her words can hold a deeper meaning. Are we ready to allow those thoughts to enter our minds for consideration?

My new book, Sharing Wisdom Across the Ages: From Elementary School to Retirement, has more than 300 responses to three questions. As you read it, you will see similar and different perspectives between and within age groups. The respondents’ ages range from 7 years old to 100 years old.

Who determines what responses are wise and which are not? What is the rubric? Is wisdom contingent upon where we stand and what our experiences have been? Or is wisdom fluid and ever-changing?

We can all benefit when we acknowledge and embrace that the light of wisdom shines from generation to generation.

[The above comes from pages 1-2 of my book Sharing Wisdom Across the Ages: From Elementary School to Retirement.]

~~~~~

You will find more about me at www.stevepiscitelli.com.

My newest book, Sharing Wisdom Across the Ages: From Elementary School to Retirement, (eBook and paperback versions) was released on January 1, 2023. Click here for more information.

And you can still order:

  • Roxie Looks for Purpose Beyond the Biscuit (2020), in eBook and paperback format. Click here.
  • Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019, print and e-book). Available on Amazon. More information (including seven free podcast episodes that spotlight the seven core values highlighted in the book) is at the above link.
  • Stories about Teaching: No Need to be an Island (2017, print and e-book)Available on Amazon. One college’s new faculty onboarding program used the scenarios in this book. Contact me if you and your team are interested in doing the same. The accompanying videos (see the link above) could serve to stimulate community-building conversations at the beginning of a meeting.

You can find my podcasts (all fifty episodes) here.

©2023. Steve Piscitelli
The Growth and Resilience Network®
Atlantic Beach, Florida

Posted in Appreciation, awareness, collaboration, Community, Life lessons, wisdom | Leave a comment

(Issue #635) The Ugliest House in America?


We stumble from room to room looking for bright spots. Making do.
Or perhaps we recognize we need to change
.

~~~~

This piece came to me from two disparate sources. One from a Henry David Thoreau quote. The other by way of an HGTV series.

Two sources that you would not normally see in the same line, paragraph, story, or book. Bear with me.

Thoreau’s (attributed) quote, “No one is as old as those who have outlived enthusiasm,”  reminds us that the concepts of age and old are not only associated with the number of years that have passed in one’s life. We have all met so-called old people who have more energy, cheer, joy, pep, and smiles than people half their age. They have enthusiasm for life. They greet each day—or at least, most days—with interest and purposeful emotion. These energizing bunnies bring light to any space they enter. They see the world with wide-eyed optimism, hope, and promise.

Conversely, you have endured the soul-sucking presence of people who always find problems, slights, inconvenience, tribulations, and boredom from the moment they place their feet on the floor each morning. They squint their eyes, letting in as little light as possible. Enthusiasm is a foreign concept.

One builds a house of light and wonder. The other lives in a darkened structure.

This leads us to the HGTV series: The Ugliest House in America.  The host travels to different regions of the United States looking for those houses (nominated by their owners) with disjointed architecture, hideous décor, terrifying design, and questionable functionality. These are homes the homeowners themselves have little enthusiasm in which to live. At the end of the season, one of the homes is declared “The Ugliest House in America” and wins a $150,000 makeover. A lot of laughs and a lot of “What in the world were they thinking?”

The HGTV show uses three scales to rate ugly homes. The higher the score, the uglier the structure.

The Connection.

I have periods when enthusiasm is difficult to find. You, too, I would guess. We find ourselves in a funk or confused about where we are and what we should do next. It can be a joyless time for us and those around us. We might feel as though, in our mind, we live in the ugliest house in America. We stumble from room to room looking for bright spots. Making do. Or perhaps we recognize we need to change our thinking, planning, and direction. Instead of a renovation, we engage in a repurposement. Where are we going? What do we want to do?

Maybe, like the HGTV series, we would do well to develop an enthusiasm scale for what we do. Let’s say your scale is “1” (not much enthusiasm) to “4” (off-the-chart enthusiasm). I choose to use an even number for the scales, eliminating the cop-out of gravitating to the middle number. With an even number scale, you are either leaning toward enthusiasm or away from it.

For instance, mornings you’ll find me on the beach at sunrise. Most of the time, that earns a “4” on the enthusiasm scale. At times, though, the number drops. Not because of the beach, clouds, sun, or temperature. They are all part of the texture and add to my enthusiasm. It dips if someone interrupts the solitude with a lot of yammering and negative vibes. Once I identify that I start adjusting the next morning to keep the enthusiasm high.

The scale helps me engage in a renovation of sorts. After all, I don’t want to live in the ugliest home in America (especially if it is in my mind and heart).

How do your daily activities measure up on that scale?

~~~~~

You will find more about me at www.stevepiscitelli.com.

My newest book, Sharing Wisdom Across the Ages: From Elementary School to Retirement, in eBook and paperback was released on January 1, 2023. Click here for more information.

And you can still order:

  • Roxie Looks for Purpose Beyond the Biscuit (2020), in eBook and paperback format. Click here.
  • Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019, print and e-book). Available on Amazon. More information (including seven free podcast episodes that spotlight the seven core values highlighted in the book) is at the above link.
  • Stories about Teaching: No Need to be an Island (2017, print and e-book)Available on Amazon. One college’s new faculty onboarding program used the scenarios in this book. Contact me if you and your team are interested in doing the same. The accompanying videos (see the link above) could serve to stimulate community-building conversations at the beginning of a meeting.

You can find my podcasts (all fifty episodes) here.

©2023. Steve Piscitelli
The Growth and Resilience Network®
Atlantic Beach, Florida

Posted in Life lessons | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

(Issue #634) Snow White and Her 8th Protege?


May you find peace in the new year and a distraction-free zone to catch your breath.

~~~~

(If Snow White brought on an 8th protégé, what would his or her name be? Read on for one possibility.)

Hi. I’m Distracted. The 8th and, probably, the one never mentioned to you.

The others get all the credit. Not that I’m jealous or anything. I mean, I get it. Those Seven and the lady herself (Snow) have been around for almost a century. Yep, born in the 1930s or so. So perhaps their names reflect the times. And they—the originals—even have a more recent movie version about their escapades.

None of the other seven, though, has any idea about cell phones, social media accounts, Tik Tok, or texting. They don’t know what it’s like to be on constant alert for an incoming message or call. I really do envy them as they have been able to lead calmer, slower-paced, and less distracted lives. Sure, they had occasional distractions—but they would go bonkers if they had to travel my road for just one hour. They might be Sleepy, Sneezy,  and Bashful—but they would need a real Doc if they were subjected to what I am minute by minute. I’m not sure any of the 7 (or Snow, herself) would survive.

But then again, I’m not sure I’m doing much more than surviving from minute to minute with my weapons of mass distraction as constant companions.

How about you? Do you feel distracted, too?

May you experience more distraction-free moments and increase your inner peace throughout 2023.

~~~~~

You will find more about me at www.stevepiscitelli.com.

My newest book, Sharing Wisdom Across the Ages: From Elementary School to Retirement was released (eBook and paperback) on January 1, 2023. Click here for more information.

And you can still order:

  • Roxie Looks for Purpose Beyond the Biscuit (2020), in eBook and paperback format. Click here.
  • Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019, print and e-book). Available on Amazon. More information (including seven free podcast episodes that spotlight the seven core values highlighted in the book) is at the above link.
  • Stories about Teaching: No Need to be an Island (2017, print and e-book)Available on Amazon. One college’s new faculty onboarding program used the scenarios in this book. Contact me if you and your team are interested in doing the same. The accompanying videos (see the link above) could serve to stimulate community-building conversations at the beginning of a meeting.

You can find my podcasts (all fifty episodes) here.

©2023. Steve Piscitelli
The Growth and Resilience Network®
Atlantic Beach, Florida

Posted in focus, resilience | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

(Issue #633) In Your Hands


The following came to me during my morning meditation:

In Your Hands

In your hands, you hold the focus

In your hands, you hold the promise

In your hands, you hold the possibilities

In your hands, you hold the discipline

In your hands, you hold the future.

In your hands.

~~~~~

You will find more about me at www.stevepiscitelli.com.

My newest book, Sharing Wisdom Across the Ages: From Elementary School to Retirement, in eBook and paperback was released on January 1, 2023. Click here for more information.

And you can still order:

  • Roxie Looks for Purpose Beyond the Biscuit (2020), in eBook and paperback format. Click here.
  • Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019, print and e-book). Available on Amazon. More information (including seven free podcast episodes that spotlight the seven core values highlighted in the book) is at the above link.
  • Stories about Teaching: No Need to be an Island (2017, print and e-book)Available on Amazon. One college’s new faculty onboarding program used the scenarios in this book. Contact me if you and your team are interested in doing the same. The accompanying videos (see the link above) could serve to stimulate community-building conversations at the beginning of a meeting.

You can find my podcasts (all fifty episodes) here.

©2023. Steve Piscitelli
The Growth and Resilience Network®
Atlantic Beach, Florida

Posted in Life lessons | Leave a comment

(Issue #632) I Wanna Be A Kid Again


But if he changes the then, his now, including all the good parts could be eliminated.
What would you do?

~~~~~

The song came to me like so many others. A line kept repeating itself in my ear.

I wanna be a kid again.

As I rolled down A1A with the beach to my left and Vilano Beach ahead of me, I had the memory of a movie we watched the night before. A Bruce Willis movie (The Kid) in which his younger self (a child) kept coming back to him bringing up hurtful memories and helping (?) Bruce’s character with current situations. The younger self helped the older self remember and prepare.

I pulled my motorcycle into a gravel parking lot in front of a beachside café and made my way to the counter for the daily special. As I sipped my coffee, I pulled a pad from the zippered pocket of my black leather motorcycle jacket and started to write. By the time breakfast arrived, I had most of the song roughed out. The words flowed once I started. And so did the tears. Almost sobbing, I grabbed a napkin from the dispenser and dabbed my eyes, glad that the café was empty at that early hour.

My song traced the journey of a young child through a tortured childhood. He never really got to do what kids got to do. He was always on the lookout for what bad stuff might happen. But he was hopeful. He had dreams. The final verse sees him as an adult with a job and a wife. He has a good life…but something was missing. He still yearns for what could have been…what might have been…if his childhood had been a bit different. He wanted to be a kid again to see what could happen now. Hopeful, yet disappointed.

The words that first appeared in my mind’s eye became the title. And the last line of the chorus. Within a few months (2007), I would record it on my first CD, Same Tune, Different Song.

Eventually, I tested the waters, to see if there might be interest from an artist to record it. I remember the review I received from one submission. Overall, the rejection was kindly written. What the reviewer had difficulty with was why in the world would a kid with a terrible childhood want to be a kid again. Especially that kid again. Why live that drama and disappointment one more time?

Perhaps the problem was with me, the songwriter. Maybe my words didn’t explain well enough.  In my mind, if that man at the end of the song could go back—be a kid again—then there was a chance for a better ending. Maybe a do-over? Just like a novel writer who writes a terrible first draft and then reviews the manuscript with a red pen in hand, the story has the potential to become better. The characters are more alive. The protagonist makes it to his dream.

While I did not sell the song, the rejection helped me see the song—and the kid—better. That kid’s life and challenges were the beginning of the story for the protagonist. Childhood was the beginning of the character arc.

If the adult could go back to then, he could change things and have a better now. At least, so he thought.

But if he changes the then, his now, including all the good parts, could be eliminated. Was he willing to throw away what he knows his life is now for what it might have been? Even if that meant that changing the then, could result in a worse now?

What would you do?

~~~~

Make it a wonderful week and HTRB as needed.

My new book will be released on January 1, 2023. You can find more information here.

And you can still order:

  • Roxie Looks for Purpose Beyond the Biscuit (2020, print and e-book). Available on Amazon. More information is at the above link.
  • Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019print and e-book). Available on Amazon. More information (including seven free podcast episodes that spotlight the seven core values highlighted in the book) at the above link.
  • Stories about Teaching: No Need to be an Island (2017print and e-book)Available on Amazon. One college’s new faculty onboarding program used the scenarios in this book. Contact me if you and your team are interested in doing the same. The accompanying videos (see the link above) would serve to stimulate community-building conversations at the beginning of a meeting.

You can find my podcasts (all fifty episodes) here.

You will find more about me at www.stevepiscitelli.com.


©2022. Steve Piscitelli
The Growth and Resilience Network®
Atlantic Beach, Florida

Posted in childhood, Personal growth | Tagged , | Leave a comment

(Issue #631) Impatience: Virtuous or Narcissistic?


“I am extraordinarily patient, provided I get my way in the end.”
~attributed to Margaret Thatcher~

Impatience.

Does it—impatience—reflect our times? An internet search immediately brings up thousands of choices on our screen. We can get overnight delivery,  listen now to a new podcast episode, or watch live some streamed events.

No need to wait. Get what we want even before we know we want it. If the download is a bit slow, we get impatient. And heaven forbid if the overnight delivery arrives an hour or two or (oh, no!) a day late.

Impatience. Is it a virtue?

Such as anticipating what the surgeon will tell you about a loved one’s operation went. Or waiting for the electrical power to be restored to your neighborhood. More importantly, we might move beyond impatience as we wait (and wait and wait) for social justice to be addressed and achieved. Sometimes, impatience might lead to effective and appropriate action to achieve a higher goal for the community.

Photo by Steve Piscitelli

Impatience. Is it narcissistic?

Too often, though, an act of impatience has less to do with urgency and more about our unrealistic (maybe even me-centered) expectations for the world.

* The slow car in front of us. (How dare she get in my why!)

* The long hold time for a customer service representative. (Idiots!)

* The delay in our weekly garbage pickup. (The city ignored me again!)

* The office meeting that tabled your idea until next month. (What a freaking waste of my time!)

In such instances, impatience is not necessarily a sign of superior expectations or elite standards or proof of superb discipline or work ethic. It can be a sign of expected privilege, insecurity, or lack of self-respect.

Such instances can derail collaboration, empathy, and goodwill.

Yes, impatience can move the needle for good. At other times, impatience might be a code word for unrealistic expectations at the present moment. We expend energy on negative reactions rather than positive responses. We hinder rather than help. We falter rather than persevere.

Video Recommendation for the Week.

This short video reminds us to believe in ourselves when we think what we want seems impossible to reach.

~~~~~

Make it a wonderful week and HTRB as needed.

You will find my latest book, Roxie Looks for Purpose Beyond the Biscuit, in
eBook ($2.99) and paperback ($9.99) format. Click 
here.

My dog Roxie gets top billing on the author page for this work. Without her, there would be no story. Please, check out her blog.

And you can still order:

  • Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019, print and e-book). Available on Amazon. More information (including seven free podcast episodes that spotlight the seven core values highlighted in the book) at the above link.
  • Stories about Teaching: No Need to be an Island (2017, print and e-book)Available on Amazon. One college’s new faculty onboarding program used the scenarios in this book. Contact me if you and your team are interested in doing the same. The accompanying videos (see the link above) would serve to stimulate community-building conversations at the beginning of a meeting.

You can find my podcasts (all fifty episodes) here.

You will find more about me at www.stevepiscitelli.com.


©2022. Steve Piscitelli
The Growth and Resilience Network®
Atlantic Beach, Florida

Posted in Life lessons | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

(Issue #630) Everyone Has An Agenda.


We can get caught up in soundbites and loaded words and forget to dig deeper.

~~~~

Ever notice when someone advocates for something she likes, it’s usually framed as value-driven, common sense, rational, or obvious?

When that same person, however, calls out something she does not agree with, it’s dangerous, ungodly, or an agenda?

Agenda. A rather innocuous term that has become a loaded word.

Think of all the meetings you have attended that handed out an agenda as you walked into the room. A bullet-point list of items, actions, considerations, and recommendations to be considered.  Go to almost any meeting—faculty conclave, community council, financial advisor session, a political action committee, or a yoga workout—and you will have an agenda (in written or spoken form) in front of you to consider. An agenda conveys why we gather.

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli (Negril, Jamaica). The Growth and Resilience Network®

Do not be fooled by inarticulate rhetoric. We all have agendas.

  • The person who approaches the landlord for rent relief has an agenda.
  • The landlord who approaches the city commission for tax relief has an agenda.
  • The concerned parent who speaks to (or shouts at) the local school board has an agenda.
  • The school board candidate who wants to be elected has an agenda.
  • The community mayor who quietly sits and listens as a rude resident yells and berates has an agenda.
  • The concerned citizen speaking about blight, food deserts, or crime has an agenda.
  • The doctor and patient confronting a serious illness have agendas.

Agenda, it seems, has become a loaded word to sway, degrade, or shame a person or group. It carries emotional appeal and, in some cases, may lack logic.

Consider how other words have become emotionally charged—and how they can be nuanced to serve a particular point of view. For instance, a person can be considered an immigrant, an ex-pat, or a digital nomad. Different connotations. Or does a person spread propaganda—or share insights of national interest?

We can get caught up in soundbites and loaded words and forget to dig deeper.

Or we can pay attention to what is said, who is saying it, and his or her agenda.

Video Recommendation for the Week.

A poignant reminder about words, how we use them, and to what people pay attention.

~~~~~

Make it a wonderful week and HTRB has needed.

You will find my latest book, Roxie Looks for Purpose Beyond the Biscuit, in
eBook ($2.99) and paperback ($9.99) format. Click 
here.

My dog Roxie gets top billing on the author page for this work. Without her, there would be no story. Please, check out her blog.

And you can still order:

  • Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019, print and e-book). Available on Amazon. More information (including seven free podcast episodes that spotlight the seven core values highlighted in the book) at the above link.
  • Stories about Teaching: No Need to be an Island (2017, print and e-book)Available on Amazon. One college’s new faculty onboarding program uses the scenarios in this book. Contact me if you and your team are interested in doing the same. The accompanying videos (see the link above) would serve to stimulate community-building conversations at the beginning of a meeting.

You can find my podcasts (all fifty episodes) here.

You will find more about me at www.stevepiscitelli.com.


©2022. Steve Piscitelli
The Growth and Resilience Network®
Atlantic Beach, Florida

Posted in Life lessons | Leave a comment

(Issue #629) Flibbertigibbet Is My Name. Jabberwocky Is My Game.


May each of us help turn collective monologues into authentic dialogues
in which all in the room have a chance to be heard, understood, and questioned.

~~~~

“Hey, Sam. How are you doing?”

“I’ve been better, Jim. Just found out I have to have surgery.”

“Surgery? Let me tell ya about my surgeries. That’s right, plural! Man, it started with ….”

And he’s off!

One person asks a non-descript question as an opening for him or her to speak about himself or herself. The other person answers but that makes no difference. Our monologuist has started down his or her path. The conversation, while it never began, is over.

Flibbertigibbet is his name. Jabberwocky is his game.

You’ve probably been around people who cannot NOT talk. No matter the situation, they do not engage in a conversation. Rather it becomes a diatribe about what they have experienced, what they believe, what they believe you should believe, or what they believe you should or should not do. A question by them to you becomes an opportunity for them to continue the monologue from their perspective–ad nauseum.

Perhaps you attempt to steer the conversation with a statement about yourself but the monologuist can only revert to inarticulate silence.

Why do people do that? (Why have you done that?)

I encouraged a discussion (conversation?) on my Facebook page (June 27, 2022) searching for enlightenment. I asked two questions:

(1) Why do some people have such a challenging time with conversation and (basically) ignore the people in front of them?
(2) How do you deal with such solipsistic behavior? (In fact, is it solipsistic or something else?)

Thanks to all who responded for their insights. They reminded me that each person brings a separate bag of issues, agendas, needs, and expectations to a would-be conversation.

Here’s a sampling of the wisdom those respondents passed along:

  • “I think it’s deeper programming. I listen, and each time, I learn something new…”
  • “I use expressions like ‘you made so many good points excuse me, but would you mind if I weighed in now? Let me know your thoughts on my perspective….’”
  • “Loneliness can cause oversharing because they have been longing for connection.”
  • “Passion can cause oversharing…I’ll hop up on my soapbox for a few key arguments, but I try to not be too long-winded.”
  • “Dogma! We are surrounded by too many who are not independent thinkers. I encounter it every day. They regurgitate the tripe they hear from illiterate others who want them to follow blindly….”
  • “…Add in social media that provides a perfect monologue platform and national examples around us of this style of communication and we are TEACHING—whether intentional or not—a monologue communication style.”
  • “Honestly? For some, it may be social anxiety, and an inability, to figure out how to start a conversation.”
  • “Some might be narcissistic, others might be insecure or lonely. In my experience, the vast majority simply don’t seem to realize that a conversation means an exchange of talking and listening.”
  • “Having spent many an hour in bars and clubs being subjected to myriad conversations, I have learned that the people who speak the most are generally lawyers and teachers.”
  • “I agree with the position that if it’s not a chronic irritation in your life, just be pleasant.”
  • “My theory is that some people have a minimum number of words for the day that they MUST get out. Everyone’s minimum is different…I just think that they hadn’t had the opportunity to get those words out that day, and I helped them achieve that.”
  • “Repressed doubt.”
  • “Arrogance. They want to espouse their brilliance and are not interested in anyone else’s and afraid they cannot offer viable arguments to other views. “
  • “Some people talk on and on and on because of obsessive-compulsive disorder or some level of that… Some behavioral conditioning and or lots of interventions about TMI may help.”
  • “Ask questions and listen.”
  • “Some people simply don’t know how to have a real conversation. It’s too bad because if I find myself just listening to someone without a question about my thoughts or my life or the opportunity to answer them, I’m less likely to want to spend time with them in the future.”
  • “Some have been conditioned to not think, only repeat.”
  • “I find the best way to deal with narcissism is to give them positive words like ‘yes’ and ‘I know’ and ‘that must make you feel…’ and just let them talk about themselves. Then extract yourself with grace.”
  • “To the nonstop talkers, I listen, validate that I heard them, and move on. Why do some talk nonstop? Every brain is wired differently than the next, normal is just labeled normal because it’s the majority. It takes more than one color to make a rainbow.”
  • “Another perspective: some non-neurotypical people do what’s called ‘info dumping’ as a method of communication and to show that they are interested in the listener. It’s a ‘look at what cool information I brought you!’ type of thing. So it may come across as a bit narcissistic or self-involved when in reality it’s just their method of being friendly.”
  • “Fear, fear, fear. Fear of the unfamiliar. Fear of the unfamiliar also within the self.”
  • “Fear of not being seen or fear of being seen…the fear that no one will listen, fear that everyone will listen…fear, indeed. And what to do when you encounter this? Well, in my experience, love them anyway. Hold space for them to feel their fear—don’t match it, just allow it. Don’t fix it, just love them anyway.”

I am taken by how many of the above responses connect to critical thinking skills and civility. You attempt to listen, question, be heard, be kind—and if that doesn’t work graciously move on.

Critically thought-out conversations are crucial to our society. Something we have to continue to master—and according to some of the responses above, backup and relearn.

Thanks to all for sharing. May each of us help turn collective monologues into authentic dialogues in which all in the room have a chance to be heard, understood, and questioned.

Keep making a positive difference!

~~~~~

Video Recommendation for the Week.

Celeste Headlee reminds us that “we are not listening to each other” and that we have lost the balance needed for a conversation.

~~~~~

Make it a wonderful week and HTRB has needed.

You will find my latest book, Roxie Looks for Purpose Beyond the Biscuit, in
eBook ($2.99) and paperback ($9.99) format. Click 
here.

My dog Roxie gets top billing on the author page for this work. Without her, there would be no story. Please, check out her blog.

And you can still order:

  • Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019print and e-book). Available on Amazon. More information (including seven free podcast episodes that spotlight the seven core values highlighted in the book) at the above link.
  • Stories about Teaching: No Need to be an Island (2017, print and e-book)Available on Amazon. One college’s new faculty onboarding program uses the scenarios in this book. Contact me if you and your team are interested in doing the same. The accompanying videos (see the link above) would serve to stimulate community-building conversations at the beginning of a meeting.

You can find my podcasts (all fifty episodes) here.

You will find more about me at www.stevepiscitelli.com.

All photos by Steve Piscitelli. The Growth and Resilience Network®


©2022. Steve Piscitelli
The Growth and Resilience Network®
Atlantic Beach, Florida

Posted in collective monolgues, Community, conversation | Tagged , , , , , , | 2 Comments

(Issue #628) The Story of the Fire


Right or wrong, never knowing what might happen,
she was on high alert most of the time.

~~~~~

As I remember, I was about six or seven years old. We lived in a second-floor flat. Mom had to go pickup Dad (he was drunk). It was late night/early morning. Rather than awaken me, she quietly left our inner-city New Haven (CT) rental, locked the door, and made the quick drive to pick him up. It would be a short few minutes.

By time they returned, a fire truck, flashing lights reflecting against the clapboard structure, was parked outside our home. Imagine the feeling of a parent at that moment. Luckily, the fire did not impact our flat and I had slept right through it all. No harm. As I remember Mom telling me (later years) she feared the authorities would take me from her because of neglect/abandonment. That, thankfully, did not happen—but it reminded me of all that Mom had to put up with just to survive from day to day.

Reliving that experience in my mind on a recent trip back to that childhood nieghborhood, I had and “ah-ha moment.”

Photo by Steve Piscitelli. 2022

Mom seldom lived in the present moment (as the term is often used). She had difficulty smelling the roses and savoring the moment. She had to constantly prepare for what might happen with Dad. Right or wrong, never knowing what might happen, she was on high alert most of the time.

What has become clearer to me is that Mom did, in fact, occupy a present moment. But it was a different kind of present moment. One that helped her prepare and survive for the future of when Dad came home drunk, or gambled too much, or lost his temper.

Her present moment was a place of survival. She did not sense opportunities to thrive and grow. Rather, she constantly circled the wagons. A defensive position for a presumptive attack.

Photo by Steve Piscitelli

That got me thinking about how there may be two types of present moments—one a place for surviving and one a place for thriving.

  • The Present Moment for Survival does not allow much room for appreciation and joy of one’s surroundings and life. Worry, fear and anxiety rule. It can become easy to say one should “let it flow” or “breathe deeply” but Mom was preparing the environment to survive what would walk through the door so that we could wake up the next day and move beyond that high-alert status. But the next day began a new survival mode for the next storm. And as that happened repeatedly it set in motion the “present-as-survival-for-the-next-present-as-survival” moment.
  • The other present moment that Mom did not experience much (from what I can remember) was the Present Moment for Thriving. We hear about this often. Appreciate the moment and what you have. Feel what is around you. A place where one can explore, embrace, and enjoy a sense of growth and peace. In this present moment we understand there may not be much (anything?) we can do about what may be, but we take solace in what is—what we have.
Photo by Steve Piscitelli. 2022.

Perhaps one builds on the other. Maybe one stunts the other. Possibly one is the other.

And each leaves a mark.

~~~~~

Video Recommendation for the Week.

Listen as Eckhart Tolle and Oprah Winfrey tell us, “Life is always the now.” What do you think?

~~~~~

Make it a wonderful week and HTRB has needed.

You will find my latest book, Roxie Looks for Purpose Beyond the Biscuit, in
eBook ($2.99) and paperback ($9.99) format. Click 
here.

My dog Roxie gets top billing on the author page for this work. Without her, there would be no story. Please, check out her blog.

And you can still order:

  • Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019print and e-book). Available on Amazon. More information (including seven free podcast episodes that spotlight the seven core values highlighted in the book) at the above link.
  • Stories about Teaching: No Need to be an Island (2017, print and e-book)Available on Amazon. One college’s new faculty onboarding program uses the scenarios in this book. Contact me if you and your team are interested in doing the same. The accompanying videos (see the link above) would serve to stimulate community-building conversations at the beginning of a meeting.

You can find my podcasts (all fifty episodes) here.

You will find more about me at www.stevepiscitelli.com.


©2022. Steve Piscitelli
The Growth and Resilience Network®
Atlantic Beach, Florida

Posted in Anxiety, Appreciation, awareness, parental guidance, parenting, present-mindedness | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

(Issue #627) Beginning-Ending-Beginning


Doing it just to do it so you can say you did it and continue to do it is not the reason to do it

~~~~~

Beginning

Twelve years ago today (the last Sunday of May 2010), with a bit of apprehension, I clicked “publish” and launched this blog. The first few weeks I posted to the Blogger site. After that I migrated to my current platform of WordPress. I made a commitment to post once a week for the “foreseeable future.”

That marked a beginning.

The weekly posts continued for (counting today’s offering) 627 consecutive weeks.

While most of my readers reside in the USA, this blog has reached around the world. The next nine nations (by number of views): Canada, Philippines, India, United Kingdom, Australia, Malaysia, South Africa, Germany, and Indonesia. And additional viewers from more than 100 other countries. (According to WordPress stats.)

Humbling. Gratifying.

Photo by Steve Piscitelli

Ending

Like the child who started the first grade in 2010 and has now (2022) reached his high school commencement, I, too, have arrived at a graduation of sorts.

Today marks the last of my weekly blog posts. An ending—of sorts. It is not the end of the blog. Just the end of the weekly posts.

While the weekly posts pushed me to continue to hone my writing skills and explore new topics, I found myself posting just to keep “the string” of consecutive weeks going. That became a chore at times. While I still received joy and a sense of satisfaction each time I hit “publish,” there were times during the last few years that I was more relieved than joyful. I found myself doing the blog because “I had to do it.” No one told me to do it. I just did not want to break the streak of consecutive weeks. Like the student who goes to school so she can get a perfect attendance award—not because school fulfills her.

Doing it just to do it so you can say you did it and continue to do it is not the reason to do it for me.

The well runs dry.

Photo by Steve Piscitelli

Beginning

In a quote attributed to Louis L’ Amour,

There will come a time when you believe everything is finished. That will be the beginning.

And so it is.

Time to for me to back away, gather a new perspective, and return to this blog with fresh eyes and thoughts. As I put more time into my pet therapy rounds with my canine companion, Roxie, and my other community service commitments, innovative ideas will incubate. A brief hiatus will give me the opportunity to reflect on what I can contribute (with my blogging) going forward.

One of the early posts on this blog spoke of the inspiration for my song Find Your Happy Place!

The song reminds us that we have to care for ourselves. Be it a spiritual touchstone, an emotional retreat, a community gathering, or an isolated getaway when we can find ethical ways to maintain life’s balance we help ourselves

That can lead to a beginning.

Thank you for following, reading, sharing, and commenting. I appreciate you and I will be back.

Every exit is an entrance to someplace else.|
~attributed to Patti LaBelle~

~~~~~

Video Recommendation for the Week.

Sunrise represents an end and a beginning. Enjoy this video I shot from my kayak. And don’t miss the dolphins!

~~~~~

Make it a wonderful week and HTRB has needed.

You will find my latest book, Roxie Looks for Purpose Beyond the Biscuit, in
eBook ($2.99) and paperback ($9.99) format. Click 
here.

My dog Roxie gets top billing on the author page for this work. Without her, there would be no story. Please, check out her blog.

And you can still order:

  • Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019print and e-book). Available on Amazon. More information (including seven free podcast episodes that spotlight the seven core values highlighted in the book) at the above link.
  • Stories about Teaching: No Need to be an Island (2017, print and e-book)Available on Amazon. One college’s new faculty onboarding program uses the scenarios in this book. Contact me if you and your team are interested in doing the same. The accompanying videos (see the link above) would serve to stimulate community-building conversations at the beginning of a meeting.

You can find my podcasts (all fifty episodes) here.

You will find more about me at www.stevepiscitelli.com.


©2022. Steve Piscitelli
The Growth and Resilience Network®
Atlantic Beach, Florida

Posted in Gratitude | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments