“The way to make people trustworthy is to trust them.”
~attributed to Ernest Hemingway

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My last post examined how our anxiety loops can pack a debilitating wallop to our emotional and physical well-being. The loops become habits and can end up ruling our lives.

Do you ever find yourself in that anxiety loop due to a lack of trust? The trust issue may be with someone else or it may be with yourself (more on that below). You ruminate and catastrophize because you must trust someone else, but you cannot. I know I have tunneled down that rabbit hole far too many times. It has never been helpful.

One Face of Truth

After one such situation (involving a contractor doing a small job at our home), I asked myself “Why? Why was my go-to point one of distrust of a person (company) that I had vetted, received recommendations about, weighed options, and did my due diligence before engaging?” And, in the long run, everything turned out fabulous (like it typically does in such situations for me).

When I face a situation outside of my realm of experience I can find myself drifting into overplanning mode. I worry about what is to come and what might happen. The result is off-the-chart catastrophizing about things I have no control over like the workers, weather, materials, or results.

Here is the interesting thing for me. As I recently took a moment to examine the commonalities of these worry-intensive moments, I asked myself, “Why does the persistent voice in my head have me on high alert for non-existing sabretooth tigers?”

More pointedly, “How many times did I actually get screwed by a contractor, salesperson, or contract?”

I can’t remember many (any?) times. Yet the distrust persists.

Of course, there were times when my “homework” led me away from a person, company, situation, or event—and my decision proved prudent, safe, and wise. I do not discount that. However, my overthinking often does not help and may hinder me.

Ernest Hemingway is credited with saying, “The way to make people trustworthy is to trust them.”

Another Face of Truth

I would add, “And trust yourself.” Yes, we need to beware and be prepared. We need to do our homework. But where can we find a healthy balance between proper planning and overanalyzing?

I’ve often heard or read about people who speak of surrendering to those things out of their control. I never bought into that mindset. It seemed a cop-out. Until recently.

I am rethinking that. At times, I need to stop, breathe, surrender, and move forward.

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VIDEO RECOMMENDATION

Listen as Bob Dylan sings “Trust Yourself.”

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You will find more about me at www.stevepiscitelli.com.

Information about my newest book, Sharing Wisdom Across the Ages: From Elementary School to Retirement (2023), (eBook and paperback versions) will be found here.

And you can still order:

• Roxie Looks for Purpose Beyond the Biscuit (2020), in eBook and paperback format. Click here.
• Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019, print and e-book). Available on Amazon. More information (including seven free podcast episodes that spotlight the seven core values highlighted in the book) is at the above link.
• Stories about Teaching: No Need to be an Island (2017, print and e-book). Available on Amazon. One college’s new faculty onboarding program used the scenarios in this book. Contact me if you and your team are interested in doing the same. The accompanying videos (see the link above) could serve to stimulate community-building conversations at the beginning of a meeting.

You can find my podcasts (all fifty episodes) here.

©2023. Steve Piscitelli
The Growth and Resilience Network®
Atlantic Beach, Florida