(Issue #502) Will You Dance Your Dance?

Posted on January 5, 2020 by Steve Piscitelli

“Oh God, to reach the point of death only to find that
you have never lived at all.”
-Henry David Thoreau-

With the beginning of the year comes the inevitable listing of ambitious goals. I have written about the difference between goal setting and goal achievement. The first is no assurance of the second.

We can come up short on our goals for any number of lacks:

  • Lack of effort
  • Lack of resources
  • Lack of consistent follow-through
  • Lack of confidence
  • Lack of preparation
  • Lack of __________ [you fill in the blank].

One lack that we may fail to recognize is that of authenticity.  I saw it with students and their college majors.  Specifically, when a student was following a career path dictated by something outside of herself. This could be the allure of money (I want this career because of the income), the tease of celebrity (I want to be adored by millions), or the expectation of family members (my parents say I need to be a doctor). None of these speak to the authenticity of the individual. They miss the heart and soul of the person.

Photo ©Steve Piscitelli. 2019

Re-reading a classic Leo Buscaglia book, I came across two reminders we might want to consider as we embark (before we embark?) on our goal achievement for 2020. In Buscaglia’s words:

  • “When you start following my way, it will lead you to me and you will get lost. The only way to follow is your  way.” (p. 131)
  • “I think you were made unique because you have some unique statement to make. Dedicate your life to finding out what that statement is.” (p. 174)

My goals have to be my goals. Your goals have to be your goals. How can you create your unique statement if you use my words, my reasoning, and my desires?

If I follow your dream, do I ever become me?

R.D. Laing stated, “I cannot experience your experience.”

And I cannot live your dream. In fact, can I really live my life to the fullest if my goal is to be a mini you? Is that authentic?

Or as Thoreau reminded us, “Oh God, to reach the point of death only to find that you have never lived at all.”

______________________________________________________________

Video Recommendation of the Week

Lee Ann Womack reminds us to dance our dance.

______________________________________________________________

Make it a great week and HTRB has needed.

Stay tuned for my new book to be released in early 2020:
Roxie Looks for Purpose Beyond the Biscuit.
Well, actually, my dog Roxie gets top billing on the author page for this work. Without her, there would be no story.
Click here for more information about the book.

In the meantime, check out her blog.

And you can still order:

  • My book, Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019), (print and e-book) is available on More information (including seven free podcast episodes that spotlight the seven core values highlighted in the book) at www.stevepiscitelli.com.
  • Check out my book Stories about Teaching, Learning, and Resilience: No Need to be an Island (2017). It has been adopted for teaching, learning, and coaching purposes. I conducted (September 2019) a half-day workshop for a community college’s new faculty onboarding program using the scenarios in this book. Contact me if you and your team are interested in doing the same. The accompanying videos would serve to stimulate community-building conversations at the beginning of a meeting.

My podcasts can be found at The Growth and Resilience Network®.

You will find more about what I do at www.stevepiscitelli.com.

©2020. Steve Piscitelli
The Growth and Resilience Network®

Posted in Life lessons | 4 Comments

(Issue #501) A Blogger’s Retrospective for 2019

Posted on December 29, 2019 by Steve Piscitelli

May you create, share, and savor powerful moments
in the coming year and beyond.

-Happy New Year. Scroll down to view my Gratitude Video to you.-

While sitting in an Austin hotel room at the end of May 2010, I wrote my first post for this blog. At that time, I had three goals:

  • Experience a new (for me) aspect of social media (remember, it was 2010)
  • Develop and flesh out new ideas
  • Provide something of value—not just another cyber rant.

I believe I have accomplished the first and the second. It is up to you whether I have accomplished the third. My blog posts contain videos, book recommendations and summaries, questions to ponder, and always a takeaway to apply immediately to life.  I have remained true to my commitment to publish one blog post per week. This post marks the 501st consecutive week.  And I know that I am #alwayslearning!

Since the first post, this blog evolved into www.thegrowthandresiliencenetwork.net. 

Thank you for reading, commenting, and sharing.  I would love to hear what you find of value on this blog. And, please feel free to share any ideas you have for future post

As has now become tradition for this blog, this last-of-the-year offering lists each of the previous week’s posts I added this year. Along with each title, you will find a teaser about each. Perhaps a nugget or two will provide inspiration. I have linked each title to the actual blog should you want to read it, re-read it, or share it. Thank you for your continued support and comments.

I also have included (1) top five blog posts (by number of views/visits) since I started this journey in 2010; and (2) the top five blog posts from 2019.

*Top Five All-Time Posts by Views on this Blog (Since 2010)* 

  1. (#194) Honor the Past. Celebrate the Present. Embrace the Future.
  2. (#86) A Model for Critical Thinking
  3. (#18) Crab Pot Mentality
  4. (#93) SQ4R: Strategic Reading Strategies for the Classroom and Beyond
  5. (#219) The First Day of Class: People Before Paper!

 

*Top Five 2019 Posts by Views on this Blog*

  1. (#451) The Conversation Starter
  2. (#499) The View from the Rainbow Bridge
  3. (#498) 30-30-30-30-30-30-30
  4. (#464) Food. Family. Farewell.
  5. (#472) Action, Gratitude, and Community

 *2019 in Review*

  1. Respectful Relationships * Respectful relationships help build lasting, meaningful, accepting, loving, nurturing, and sustaining communities.
  2. The Conversation Starter * There are no strangers; only friends she has yet to meet.
  3. Cognitive Distortions * Can you say, “fake news”? Or “leading statements”?
    Or “inferences based on limited information or examples”?
  4. Beyond Hope * We articulate what we want to see happen. Yet that does not finish movement to improvement.
  5. Recognize the Stories in the Room * No matter how far-sighted leaders may be on an issue, if they cannot connect to the emotional responses of their constituents, relevance is missed, and opportunity squandered.
  6. Resources: Find. Learn. Use. * Discover and use RESOURCES to increase chances for progress, growth, learning, and connections.
  7. Rainbows * This week’s blog post draws on the fourth core value from
    Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019):  Give voice to our RAINBOWS—our dreams and aspirations—and act to move toward them.
  8. Responsibility: Important Questions to Consider * This week’s blog post draws on the fifth core value from Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019): Act with RESPONSIBILITY toward others and ourselves.
  9. Reflection as a Non-Luxury Good * This week’s blog post draws on the sixth core value from Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019): Taking time to consider, ponder, remember, analyze, evaluate, and appreciate the various connections of life.
  10. Resilience: Where Can You Make Changes? * This week’s blog post draws on the seventh, and final, core value from Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019). Resilience: The ability to connect adaptability, recovery, growth, and discovery.
  11. Gratitude for the Journey * My background has been my driver, my brake, my accelerator, and my protector.
  12. Projects or Purpose? * If something, however, seems to be missing it might be time to pause, hit the reset button, and ask why you do what you do?
  13. The Power of the Stumble * May God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world, so that you can do what others claim cannot be done. – A Franciscan Blessing –
  14. Inside Out * What are your prearrangements with yourself when it comes to your stated priorities?
  15. Family. Farewell. * But we get distracted and believe we can wait to make the connection, lend the hand, or offer a shoulder. There will always be tomorrow . So, we postpone.
  16. Gratitude: A Reminder * If we give a gift expecting a return, then we have not offered a gift. We have tendered a loan. Not gratitude.
  17. Spoiled? * As the sun popped up over the ocean, I thought if that is being “spoiled” then I like it.
  18. Learn. Lead. * To lead, you must first listen (hear; respect; ask authentic questions).
    Then learn from the exchange (willingness to change).
  19. Thank You, Mom * Shortcuts shortchange the long run.
  20. Taking a Stand * It, however, did lead to a deeper conversation with myself. And, even if on a minute level, a deeper appreciation for people who stand up for what they believe.
  21. A Reminder about Noise * Are you adding to clarity or compounding the noise? How do you know?
  22. Confronting the Bullies * What we do in these situations defines our characters, our communities, and our destiny.
  23. Action, Gratitude, and Community * While thinking about gratitude feels good, action creates greater benefits.
  24. Legacy. * What is your hope for your community? What do you want to see, and more importantly, what will you do to make it happen? What legacy will you help build and contribute to for the coming generations?
  25. Lose. Laugh. Learn. * Fear can lead to growth inhibiting action or inaction.
  26. Purposeful Relationships Require Deliberative Efforts * Consider how you can incorporate deliberative efforts for deeper organizational relationships—one person at a time.

Video Recommendation for the Week.

2019 Gratitude Video.

 

And now for the remaining blogs for the year 2019….

  1. Red Team Analysis * Reaching critically reviewed, dissected, and discussed decisions may require creative thinking about how to do it. Critical thinking, though, is not a synonym for creative thinking.
  2. Call-Out Culture: Increasing Understanding or Volume? * If you have to name-call, then you have no argument; you have admitted your lack of understanding and/or
    inability to intelligently debate the issue at hand.
  3. A Possibility Conversation * Dig down … why do you remember this and
    why does it speaks to your soul? Eulogy or résumé virtue?
  4. Lessons by the Numbers * Six short video strategy lessons.
  5. Community Building Components * Building community requires that we consider our subject mindfully, hold conversations driven by authentic questions, and then engage in collaboration to do the needed work.
  6. No Parental Instruction Manual * They—like so many (all?) parents then and now—had to write their own parenting how-to guide.  A half century later, I am grateful.
  7. Political Pyrotechnicians * Unfortunately, because they refuse to listen, a fruitful give-and-take becomes more of a chimera.
  8. Think in Reverse * Ask yourself what you need to do to create what you do not
  9. Nutritious People and Purpose * The key is to understand the story and the associated people, because there can be a danger if community devolves into tribalism.
  10. Human Beings with Human Challenges * Benefiting from human connections.
  11. A Metaphor for Growth and Resilience * Some will experience a metamorphosis they never dreamed they could attain. Others will quietly walk away.
  12. Community Resilience Through Affordable and Sustainable Home Ownership * We have the know-how in the world to house everyone. We have the resources in the world to house everyone.  All that is missing is the WILL to do it. -Millard Fuller
  1. Reflect. Respond. Repeat. *  Reset as needed.
  2. Opportunities to Notice *  The range of what we think and do is limited by what we fail to notice….-RD Lang
  3. Calling for Deliberative Dialogues * Acknowledge common ground to build a more unified and proactive community.
  4. Premonitions and Weak Signals? * The point is obvious. There is more than one way to burn a book. And the world is full of people running about with lit matches….-Ray Bradbury-
  5. Using Demonstrations for Team Building and Prioritization * Regardless of the topic, demonstrations can drive home a point, that may be lost in a lecture or in a reading.
  6. Mind Enema * Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up. –Ann Bradford
  7. Communication: So Easy, Yet So Hard * You have a story. It belongs to you. It is powerful. How are you helping people understand it?
  8. Just What I Needed * We all make a difference each day of our lives. Some days, that difference packs more impact than you could imagine.
  9. Thankful for Civility * Civility does not mean we always agree. It does mean, though, that we accept each other’s humanity and dignity as a person.
  10. The End-of-the-Year Review: The 6 Ds *  How does your 2019 retrospective set the stage for your 2020 journey?
  11. 30-30-30-30-30-30-30 * If you have no difficulty identifying, setting, and achieving goals, you don’t need this post. I don’t want to get in your way. Pass it along to someone who can benefit from it.
  12. The View from the Rainbow Bridge *  As the dog looks back, she sees life as it was before she got to the bridge. Now, there are memories.
  13. 2019: The Year of Gratitude! *   Reaching out, instead of lashing out. 
  14. A Blogger’s Retrospective: 2019 in Review * This last-of-the-year offering lists each of the previous week’s posts I added this year.

Make it a great week and HTRB has needed.  May you create, savor, and share memories in the coming year.

Stay tuned for my new book to be released in early 2020:
Roxie Looks for Purpose Beyond the Biscuit.
Well, actually, my dog Roxie gets top billing on the author page for this work. Without her, there would be no story. In the meantime, check out her blog.

And you can still order:

  • My latest book, Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019), (print and e-book) is available on  More information (including seven free podcast episodes that spotlight the seven core values highlighted in the book) at www.stevepiscitelli.com.
  • Check out my book Stories about Teaching, Learning, and Resilience: No Need to be an Island (2017). It has been adopted for teaching, learning, and coaching purposes.  I conducted (September 2019) a half-day workshop for a community college’s new faculty onboarding program using the scenarios in this book. Contact me if you and your team are interested in doing the same.  The accompanying videos would serve to stimulate community-building conversations at the beginning of a meeting.

My podcasts can be found at The Growth and Resilience Network®.

You will find more about what I do at www.stevepiscitelli.com.

©2019. Steve Piscitelli
The Growth and Resilience Network®

 

Posted in Appreciation, awareness, Goals, Gratitude, inspiration, Integrity, intentional growht, intentionality, leadership, lessons reaffirmed, Life lessons, life success, Life's purpose, lifelong learning, listening, resilience | Tagged , , , , , | 2 Comments

(Issue #500) 2019: A Year of Gratitude

Posted on December 22, 2019 by Steve Piscitelli

NOTE: This week’s issue marks the 500th consecutive week that I have posted on this blog. That equates to about nine years and seven months. Or nearly 115 months. In keeping with today’s topic of gratitude, thank you for following, reading, and sharing this blog. Without you, it would not be a blog. It would be a diary.  I am grateful for you.  And now….for this week’s offering.

 Reaching out, instead of lashing out. 

Nearly eight years ago, on January 1, 2012, I began a personal gratitude project.  I vowed to handwrite a Thank You note of gratitude each day to a different person or group of people—and then mail it or hand it to him/her/them.  2012 would be The Year of Gratitude.

I committed myself to writing at least 366 notes in 2012 (leap year).  By December 31, 2012 I addressed notes to nearly 400 people (a few days saw more than one person get a note).

I repeated the project for this year, 2019. When I deliver my last note on December 31, 2019, once again nearly 400 people will have been recipients of 365 days (non-leap year) of note writing.

The notes have gone to long-time friends, neighbors, musicians, national celebrities, colleagues, wait staff and service personnel in restaurants and hotels around the nation, former students, journalists, a police department, a fire chief, city leaders, doctors, veterans, people I have volunteered with on community projects, pet therapy advocates and mentors, family members, grocery store staff, former colleagues, fellow “gym rats,” an insurance agent, a broker, a Congressman, custodians, and others.In each note, I taped the following:

  Gratitude Amplifies, Rescues, and Connects.
-Robert A. Emmons-

At times, in a world challenged by agitation, anxiety, and anger, we may forget to pause to appreciate and acknowledge the good people in our lives. I have promised myself to send at least one “GRATITUDE” note per day for the entire year of 2019 to people like you who make our world a better place.  Know that you help amplify, rescue, and connect our world—one kind action at a time. We need more people like you. THANK YOU!   -Steve Piscitelli, 2019

I then wrote a few personal reflections as to specific traits that the person had—and how that person made a difference in our world.

This was how I finished most of my days. Before turning out the light I pulled out a card and spent 3 or 4 minutes writing the note for the next day.

Why did I invest time and treasure in this project?

  • It proved to be a very positive way to end each day. For the few minutes I wrote the note, no matter how ugly the day may have been (in my perception) I found it very difficult to be upset or angry as I wrote a note of appreciation to someone.
  • People really do appreciate being appreciated! I received many, many, many notes of gratitude for my notes of gratitude. That was never my intent.  I believe it was Leo Buscaglia who said something to the effect of “If you give a gift expecting something in return, then it was never a gift. It was merely a loan.” The return gratitude notes, though, did make me feel good.
  • There is something about handwriting a note—and receiving such a note. I was told that often.
  • There were people I missed (I am sure). That is not a reflection on them—just on me for missing them. This is another reminder that in reality I have much to be grateful for in my life. More people who have graced my way than I can remember.
  • Hopefully, my practice inspired a recipient or two to adopt a similar project for their lives. Reaching out to acknowledge the connectedness that we all share—or can share if we nurture it.

I know it probably sounds “so very 1960s” of me, but wouldn’t it be a much better world if we reach out—without manipulation, without exploitation, without an expectation for personal gain—to people around us.  Reaching out, instead of lashing out.

I am grateful that you take time to read my blog, share it, and perhaps even act on the messages.

Next week I will post my annual “A Blogger’s Retrospective” in which I will provide a quick summary of and link to each of my 2019 blog posts.   Look for my year-end video—a moment of gratitude from the beach to you.

I appreciate you.

Video Recommendation for the week.

Two videos this week

This quick excerpt comes from one of my stage presentations. It reminds the audience that our efforts (like a gratitude note) do matter.  A simple thank you goes a long way.

And, from my first CD, a song of gratitude to all the teachers out there

Make it a great week and HTRB has needed.

Stay tuned for my new book to be released in early 2020:
Roxie Looks for Purpose Beyond the Biscuit.
Well, actually, my dog Roxie gets top billing on the author page for this work. Without her, there would be no story. In the meantime, check out her blog.

And you can still order:

  • My latest book, Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019), (print and e-book) is available on  More information (including seven free podcast episodes that spotlight the seven core values highlighted in the book) at www.stevepiscitelli.com.
  • Check out my book Stories about Teaching, Learning, and Resilience: No Need to be an Island (2017). It has been adopted for teaching, learning, and coaching purposes.  I conducted (September 2019) a half-day workshop for a community college’s new faculty onboarding program using the scenarios in this book. Contact me if you and your team are interested in doing the same.  The accompanying videos would serve to stimulate community-building conversations at the beginning of a meeting.

My podcasts can be found at The Growth and Resilience Network®.

You will find more about what I do at www.stevepiscitelli.com.

©2019. Steve Piscitelli
The Growth and Resilience Network®

Posted in Appreciation, authenticity, collaboration, collegiality, Community, consideration, dignity, Integrity, Life lessons, resilience, respect | Tagged , , , , , , | 4 Comments

(Issue #499) The View from the Rainbow Bridge

Posted on December 15, 2019 by Steve Piscitelli

As the dog looks back, she sees life as it was before she got to the bridge.
Memories.

Pet lovers embrace the concept of “The Rainbow Bridge” where person and pet will reunite in the next world.  The story has evolved that when the pet dies, she moves to a lush meadow. There, her body fully restored, she romps and plays with other animals. And, she awaits reunification with her person from the previous life.  Once reconnected, the legend goes, they both walk over the Rainbow Bridge into heaven.

As I read the Rainbow Bridge poem, I envisioned a dog (or another animal) patiently waiting for the much anticipated reunion with the person so dear and still so near in her heart.  She waits, looking from the Rainbow Bridge back toward another life.  (See the video at the end of this post.)

As my mind (and creativity) played with the image, a metaphor develop.  The view from the bridge, perhaps, is our eulogy, our legacy.  What we accomplished, for example, for and with our canine companion, and beyond.  As the dog looks back, she sees life as it was before she got to the bridge.  Memories.

With the end of the year just ahead of us, we think of 2020—what’s over the New Year’s bridge. And, we look back at 2019. What is the legacy we have continued to build? How do we want to add to that legacy as we move into the next decade?

A few years ago, I wrote a eulogy for our previous canine, Buddy.   I titled it “A Life Well-Lived.”

As you look back to the previous year, what did you do that qualifies as a life well-lived? What top three things stand out?

In what ways can you continue to create a life well-lived in 2020?

Video Recommendation for the week.

Enjoy this moving tribute to the Rainbow Bridge.

Stay tuned for my new book to be released in early 2020:
Roxie Looks for Purpose Beyond the Biscuit.
Well, actually, my dog Roxie gets top billing on the author page for this work. Without her, there would be no story. In the meantime, check out her blog.

And you can still order:

  • My latest book, Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019), (print and e-book) is available on  More information (including seven free podcast episodes that spotlight the seven core values highlighted in the book) at www.stevepiscitelli.com.
  • Check out my book Stories about Teaching, Learning, and Resilience: No Need to be an Island (2017). It has been adopted for teaching, learning, and coaching purposes.  I conducted (September 2019) a half-day workshop for a community college’s new faculty onboarding program using the scenarios in this book. Contact me if you and your team are interested in doing the same.  The accompanying videos would serve to stimulate community-building conversations at the beginning of a meeting.

My podcasts can be found at The Growth and Resilience Network®.

You will find more about what I do at www.stevepiscitelli.com.

©2019. Steve Piscitelli
The Growth and Resilience Network®

Posted in Appreciation, awareness, change management, Choice, creating your future, Discipline, feedback, growth, Life lessons | Tagged , , , , , | 5 Comments

(Issue #498) 30-30-30-30-30-30-30

Posted on December 8, 2019 by Steve Piscitelli

If you have no difficulty identifying, setting, and achieving goals,
skip this post. I don’t want to get in your way.
Pass it along to someone who can benefit from it.

As I listened to someone speak about a big project he wanted to launch, I was reminded of the need to set goals and act toward them. The person’s project (according to him) would make the world a better place. I heard about it often. Yet, there was little movement to the end result.  A lot of talk. A modicum of action. A goal in the distance, life getting shorter.

Goals can be overwhelming, underwhelming, motivating, or a pointless academic exercise. Intricate formulas for writing goals can never outshine the more important ingredient of taking steps to reach the goal.  Procrastination can come with self-congratulatory excuses of why the postponement of actions was necessary.  Action requires discipline, resources, and a connection between the goal and one’s inner desire.

This strategy has seven steps.  For some, the first step might be too far in the distance. OK, then start with the second, or third, or even the sixth. Begin where you can start to move with purpose toward a desired end.  For others, the last might be too small and obscure.  Tailor to your needs.

  • 30 years. This is the (really) big picture. For some, much too abstract. For others, it can provide the needed spark.
    • In 30 years, I want to be retired, healthy, and financially secure. You will need to clearly describe for yourself what these concepts mean and look like for you. What does life look like for you in this thirty-year goal? What do you not want it to look like?
  • 30 months. A smaller picture. By time thirty months (that is, two-and-one-half years from now) passes, what will you have had to accomplish in order to move closer to your thirty-year goal?
    • Staying with the example above, what will you need to do in this short-term to help set you up for that long-term goal? Do you need advisors, coaches, trainers, mentors, a budget, and/or wealth-development resources? Again, you need to clearly define and understand the concepts in such a goal.
  • 30 weeks. In about seven or eight months, what specific steps will you have taken in order to make the thirty-month goal come into focus. Again, specific steps to get to your thirty-month objectives.
  • 30 days. Staying with the above example, what do you need to do in the next month to help you with the thirty-week goal. Be specific and action-oriented.
  • 30 hours. By tomorrow, what step do you need to take to move closer to the goal? Make a phone call? Have a meeting? Find a resource?
  • 30 minutes. Is there something you can do every day for thirty minutes to help you move forward? Reading? A workout regimen? A night class? An online workshop? Meditate?
  • 30 seconds. This is the smallest picture.  Sometimes this might simply remind you to be and breathe when all seems overwhelming.

Let me leave you with two specific examples. One focuses on the 30 years, and the other on 30 seconds.

A few months ago, a friend told me she wanted to be retired by time she was 70 years old (in about 20 years).  This required specific goals and actions about finances, family, fitness, and function. Specific plans had to be put in place within the next few years (the 30-month and 30-week steps figured prominently).

The second example is more personal and points to a potential challenge with a long-range focus (30-year and 30-month goals, for instance).  I can get myself wound really tight looking into the future.  I get so focused (obsessed?) that I end up walking right by the present. My dog, Roxie, has helped me with recognize this.

Roxie is always in the present. Whether sniffing pee-mail on our walks to the beach or laying in the backyard looking at the twerking squirrels on the fence tops. She is in the moment.

From time to time, I set 30-second goals to grab my attention. To keep me in the present.  For instance, when walking to the beach, I’ll challenge myself to count the number of palm trees I pass in thirty seconds.  I can tell you, for that thirty seconds I am focused on the present. And, a secondary benefit happens. As I am looking at the trees, I notice other things about my neighborhood that I pass daily but often miss because I am so focused on the what is far ahead. (BTW: I estimated more than 200 palm trees.)

Find the place that is best for you—the correct 30 for you—and refine your goal achieving journey.

Video Recommendation for the week.

I recorded this video in 2013.  The message still resonates: While we need to have that big picture goal (say the 30-year goal), don’t drown in the big picture. Take it one step at a time.

Make it a great week and HTRB has needed.

Stay tuned for my new book to be released in early 2020:
Roxie Looks for Purpose Beyond the Biscuit.
Well, actually, my dog Roxie gets top billing on the author page for this work. Without her, there would be no story. In the meantime, check out her blog.

And you can still order:

  • My latest book, Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019), (print and e-book) is available on  More information (including seven free podcast episodes that spotlight the seven core values highlighted in the book) at www.stevepiscitelli.com.
  • Check out my book Stories about Teaching, Learning, and Resilience: No Need to be an Island (2017). It has been adopted for teaching, learning, and coaching purposes.  I conducted (September 2019) a half-day workshop for a community college’s new faculty onboarding program using the scenarios in this book. Contact me if you and your team are interested in doing the same.  The accompanying videos would serve to stimulate community-building conversations at the beginning of a meeting.

My podcasts can be found at The Growth and Resilience Network®.

You will find more about what I do at www.stevepiscitelli.com.

©2019. Steve Piscitelli
The Growth and Resilience Network®

Posted in action, Discipline, Dreams, Excuses, Grit, growth, habits, Life lessons | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

(Issue #497) End-of-Year Review: The Six Ds

Posted on December 1, 2019 by Steve Piscitelli

How does your 2019 retrospective set the stage for your 2020 journey?

In thirty days, we will be staring at another set of New Year’s Resolutions. Lofty expectations we set for that better version of ourselves, our teams, and our communities. Before we chart the course for our 2020 journey, we might do well to review what we have done and where we have been over the past eleven months.

Followers of this blog have read about my Six Fs of life , Seven Rs for purpose and growth, and Eight Success Tips.

As you, your team, and your community look to the coming year, consider The Six Ds for an End-of-the-Year Review.

  • Delve into what you have attempted to do; what you have accomplished; and where you have come up short. List these so all can see.
  • Describe each item. Once the list has been established (at least an initial list), make sure each item is specific. Make a list as to what, why, when, who, and how. No discussion or debate yet…just seek to paint a clear picture of what is on the list. Ask as many authentic questions as needed to gain clarity.
  • Discuss the above list with your team. What worked? What came up short? What resources were missing? What strengths helped? What challenges developed? At this point, all you want is understanding of what has transpired. It is not time yet to critically appraise the items.
  • Debate Once the list has been completed, open the floor for an evidence-based debate. Not a time for call-outs or political pyrotechnics. You needed reasoned give-and-take. For instance, why did certain challenges develop? Who was instrumental in moving the project forward? Where does the team or community need to do more work?
  • Digest. Once you have exhausted the above steps, take a recess. It could be for an hour, a day, a week, or whatever time period fits your team’s needs. Homework: Before you return, each member reviews the material and comes back with questions, clarifications, additions, and/or deletions.
  • Do it again. Keep refining your list until you have a consensus that your list accurately portrays what you accomplished this year, where you came up short, and where you want to go in 2020.

Video Recommendation for the week: Speak Truth to Power

In this brief (183 seconds) clip from a longer podcast episode, community activist and leader, Linda Lanier, shares how the reflective leader must “speak truth to power.” She helps us see and hear how the “unspeakable” needs to be spoken. Think of steps 3 and 4 above (Discuss and Debate).  Your team needs to speak exactly what it is or is not doing.  Unvarnished, yet clear.

Make it a great week and HTRB has needed.

Stay tuned for my new book to be released in early 2020:
Roxie Looks for Purpose Beyond the Biscuit.
Well, actually, my dog Roxie gets top billing on the author page for this work. Without her, there would be no story. In the meantime, check out her blog.

And you can still order:

  • My latest book, Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019), (print and e-book) is available on  More information (including seven free podcast episodes that spotlight the seven core values highlighted in the book) at www.stevepiscitelli.com.
  • Check out my book Stories about Teaching, Learning, and Resilience: No Need to be an Island (2017). It has been adopted for teaching, learning, and coaching purposes.  I conducted (September 2019) a half-day workshop for a community college’s new faculty onboarding program using the scenarios in this book. Contact me if you and your team are interested in doing the same.  The accompanying videos would serve to stimulate community-building conversations at the beginning of a meeting.

My podcasts can be found at The Growth and Resilience Network®.

You will find more about what I do at www.stevepiscitelli.com.

©2019. Steve Piscitelli
The Growth and Resilience Network®

Posted in accountability, assumptions, awareness, change management, Communication, Connection-Disconnection, consideration, conversation, core values, Life lessons | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

(Issue #496) Thankful for Civility.

Posted on November 24, 2019 by Steve Piscitelli

Civility does not mean we always agree. It does mean, though,
that we accept each other’s humanity and dignity as a person.

On March 25, 2012, I wrote “Is Civility Part of Your DNA?”. Coincidentally, it was post #96 on this blog. Look at the title above, and you will note today’s post comes 400 weeks later.

During that time, I have done my best to keep the tone of this blog civil. I have not wanted to add to the call-out-culture of shaming, yelling, and political pyrotechnics.

I have written a number of times on this blog about civility. In March of 2012, I stated,

…Nutritious people are walking models of civility.  They touch us in such a wonderful manner.  It would seem that if we listened and respected more there would be less anger and hate in the world.  Call me naïve, but when one person takes an active and non-manipulating concern for another person—and then that behavior is reciprocated—it becomes pretty difficult to start shouting at one another.  Civility does not mean we all agree.  It does mean, though, that we accept each other’s humanity and dignity as a person.

Ask if our world has become more or less civil, and the answer will depend where one stands and what tribe is doing the answering.  (You could ask, has tribalism pushed us further from a civil society? Are we only civil to those within our group. Has loyalty become a prerequisite for civility?)

Video recommendation for the week:

And here is the video, I shared 400 weeks ago (in 2012). These wonderful souls had/have reminders for us. Let’s be thankful for the civility that does surround us—and what we do to practice civility. I am thankful for all the civil people I have had the opportunity to learn from during the past 400 weeks. I am grateful for their civil discourse and compassionate ways.

Homework. Who helps you grow? Whom do you help grow?

  1. List the names of (at least) two nutritious people in your life. What do they specifically do that makes them nutritious? Remember a nutritious person is one who is happy to see you, listens to you (really listens), and has no immediate plans for your betterment! They accept you and are civil to you.
  2. Take a moment today and write these people a short note of gratitude. Acknowledge their humanity with your note of gratitude for their specific acts of kindness. This is your thanksgiving to them.
  3. Time for some introspection. Answer this question: “Am I a nutritious person?” If you are, what do you do that makes you such. (Repeat those actions!) If you are not, what can you do to make those behaviors part of your daily DNA.

 Make it a week of civility, and HTRB has needed.

My latest book, Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019), (print and e-book) is available on Amazon.  More information (including seven free podcast episodes that spotlight the seven core values highlighted in the book) at www.stevepiscitelli.com.

Check out my book Stories about Teaching, Learning, and Resilience: No Need to be an Island (2017). It has been adopted for teaching, learning, and coaching purposes.  I conducted (September 2019) a half-day workshop for a community college’s new faculty onboarding program using the scenarios in this book. Contact me if you and your team are interested in doing the same.  The accompanying videos serve to stimulate community-building conversations at the beginning of a meeting.

My podcasts can be found at The Growth and Resilience Network®.

You will find more about what I do at www.stevepiscitelli.com.

©2019. Steve Piscitelli
The Growth and Resilience Network®

Posted in accountability, assumptions, awareness, call-out culture, Civility, conversation, core values, Life lessons, resilience | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

(Issue #495) Just What I Needed

Posted on November 17, 2019 by Steve Piscitelli

We all make a difference each day of our lives.
Some days, that difference packs more impact than you could imagine.

You just do not know.

Next month, I will share a year-long project I have undertaken for 2019. The short story: It involves demonstrating acts of gratitude to friends, family, and strangers. A way of tossing positive vibes into our universe.

Photo ©Steve Piscitelli. 2019

Besides what gratitude does for the giver, I am taken by the response I have received  from recipients of my gratitude to them.  In one way or another, their collective responses can be summed up in four words: Just What I Needed! Here are two examples.

  • One evening, a bartender (a recent recipient of a gratitude note) came to our booth. He thanked me, hugged me, and then with tears welling in his eyes, shared how the note came at the “right time.” He was struggling with some tough family issues, and he needed a lift.
  • A recent voicemail stated (in part), “Thank you so much for your nice note…. It came on a day when I desperately needed to hear something positive about me being on the planet.”

Besides recognizing the goodness in people, extending heartfelt gratitude may provide the emotional support a person or team needs to move them forward in a difficult time. What they desperately need to hear. At that very moment.

You just never know your I impact.  We all make a difference each day of our lives. Some days, that difference packs more impact than you could imagine. And it is what the planet needs to survive.

Video Recommendation for the week.

In this video, a gratitude researcher provides insights and concrete practices to cultivate gratitude.

Make it a great week and HTRB has needed.

My latest book, Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019), (print and e-book) is available on Amazon.  More information (including seven free podcast episodes that spotlight the seven core values highlighted in the book) at www.stevepiscitelli.com.

Check out my book Stories about Teaching, Learning, and Resilience: No Need to be an Island (2017). It has been adopted for teaching, learning, and coaching purposes.  I conducted (September 2019) a half-day workshop for a community college’s new faculty onboarding program using the scenarios in this book. Contact me if you and your team are interested in doing the same.  The accompanying videos would serve to stimulate community-building conversations at the beginning of a meeting.

My podcasts can be found at The Growth and Resilience Network®.

You will find more about what I do at www.stevepiscitelli.com.

©2019. Steve Piscitelli
The Growth and Resilience Network®

Posted in amplifying, Appreciation, authenticity, awareness, Gratitude, Life lessons, resilience | Tagged , , , , | 5 Comments

(Issue #494) Communication: So Easy, Yet So Hard 

Posted on November 10, 2019 by Steve Piscitelli

You have a story. It belongs to you. It is powerful.
How are you helping people understand it?

Listening is a difficult skill to master.  A lot of people shouting, “look at me” and “listen to my story!” Unfortunately, they have difficulty respecting others’ stories.

If we want people to listen to our story, we can help by making sure we do our part.

When we communicate, we transmit, share, and express ideas or thoughts. Clear communication allows us to understand (or, at least, move toward understanding with) our fellow beings. We have so many ways we can exchange and share from the “old fashioned” face-to-face conversation, to another “old” practice of a phone call, to “more modern” texting, emailing, tweeting, or posting.  So many ways to avoid confusion and advance forward movement.

Ironically, it appears to be growing more difficult to share honest and timely communication.  In a previous post, I made the point that if you don’t create clear communication, then others get to create the story. They get to create your story. It might be wrong. But with limited or incomplete input from you, they will construct a story from what you give them—and don’t give them.

And without your information, their “creation” may be fake news.  And you may have had a hand in that creation—by not providing needed narrative.

In short:

  • If you don’t respond to the email, they get to create the story.
  • If you don’t answer the text, they get to create the story.
  • If you post without background information, they get to create the story.
  • If you ignore a request, they get to create the story.
  • If you don’t follow through like you promised, they get to create the story.
  • If you bully and push your agenda without listening to others, they get to create the story.
  • If you [fill in the blank], they get to create the story.

You have a story. It belongs to you. It is powerful. When you speak, the people in front of you have an obligation to listen and respond appropriately and authentically.  And, you can help others understand that story. And that requires clear, honest, and timely communication on your part. They may not listen, but you are holding up your part of the agreement.

You get to create your story, if you desire. Or, perhaps, your limited communication provides the story you want.

In any event, you have choices to make about your level of communication.

Video Recommendation for the week.

Perhaps you have heard of ghosting.  Have you heard about ghosting in the workplace? As the person says at the end of this piece, “….remain professional and get back to people….”

Make it a great week and HTRB has needed.

My latest book, Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019), (print and e-book) is available on Amazon.  More information (including seven free podcast episodes that spotlight the seven core values highlighted in the book) at www.stevepiscitelli.com.

Check out my book Stories about Teaching, Learning, and Resilience: No Need to be an Island (2017). It has been adopted for teaching, learning, and coaching purposes.  I conducted (September 2019) a half-day workshop for a community college’s new faculty onboarding program using the scenarios in this book. Contact me if you and your team are interested in doing the same.  The accompanying videos would serve to stimulate community-building conversations at the beginning of a meeting.

My podcasts can be found at The Growth and Resilience Network®.

You will find more about what I do at www.stevepiscitelli.com.

©2019. Steve Piscitelli
The Growth and Resilience Network®

Posted in awareness, branding, change management, Choice, collaboration, emotional intelligence, empathy, generativity, Integrity, Life lessons | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

(Issue #493) Mind Enema 

Posted on November 3, 2019 by Steve Piscitelli

“Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head
to sit down and shut up.” -Ann Bradford

Back in the 1990s, my wife and I discovered the Tucson desert, and we met Herb the wrangler. He led us on horseback rides through the Sonoran Desert and into the foothills of the Rincon Mountains. While Herb had been wrangling for a number of years, Laurie and I were experiencing our first ranch experience.

One day, as we were leaving the coral and heading toward the trail for the day, Herb turned around in his saddle and shared why he liked the desert. For him, sitting in the saddle, walking through the sage brush and prickly pear cacti, with only the sound of the wind and the hooves of the horses in the air, provided solace and a time to be quiet. Or as Herb succinctly put it, this time was like “a mind enema.”

Laurie and I laughed—and we never forgot Herb’s words.

A mind enema.

A time away from distractions. Just person, horse, and nature.  A great time to empty the mind of clutter.  Kind of a walking meditation.  Being in the moment with the surroundings. Allowing our eyes to see, and noses to breathe. Feeling our butts in the saddles, our feet in the stirrups, and our hands with the reigns.

We just returned home yesterday from our latest trip to the ranch. Another opportunity to empty the mind. While Herb has ridden off to the coral in the sky, his words remain.  More so, the reminder in those words.

We totally disconnected from our usual world. No cell phone, no email, no computer, no newspapers, no television news, no business or work-related projects. A total mind enema.

We dedicated the week to ourselves; quiet recharge time.

I don’t know about  you, but when I detach—I mean turn off the digital distractions—I more clearly hear what is bouncing around in my head. Mostly, I hear unhelpful noise in the guise of “helpful words.”  Noise that is encouraged and feed by the endless stream of other people’s words.  For the week, I became more  aware of (reminded of) the power of words—to others and to yourself.  Everything sends a message. And often, we allow ourselves to speak ill thoughts to ourselves—and we let them limit us.

The time away allowed me to take words attributed to Ann Bradford to heart,

“Tell the negative committee that meets inside your head to sit down and shut up.“

We have to be mindful of the message we send ourselves and, then, what messages we accept from others. At times, we need to tell those intrusive voices to “sit down and shut up.”

As you navigate the coming week and continue to write your autobiography, think how you can be a choice architect in your life and the lives of others.

And, I remember and thank Herb.

Video Recommendation for the week.

A quick video (115 seconds) juxtaposing some video with some video scenes “Mind Enema.”

Make it a great week and HTRB has needed.

My latest book, Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019), (print and e-book) is available on Amazon.  More information (including seven free podcast episodes that spotlight the seven core values highlighted in the book) at www.stevepiscitelli.com.

Check out my book Stories about Teaching, Learning, and Resilience: No Need to be an Island (2017). It has been adopted for teaching, learning, and coaching purposes.  I conducted (September 2019) a half-day workshop for a community college’s new faculty onboarding program using the scenarios in this book. Contact me if you and your team are interested in doing the same.  The accompanying videos would serve to stimulate community-building conversations at the beginning of a meeting.

My podcasts can be found at The Growth and Resilience Network®.

You will find more about what I do at www.stevepiscitelli.com.

©2019. Steve Piscitelli
The Growth and Resilience Network®

 

Posted in awareness, Balance, fitness, inspiration, meditation, Reflection, Reflective practice, resilience | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment