“Oh God, to reach the point of death only to find that
you have never lived at all.”
-Henry David Thoreau-

With the beginning of the year comes the inevitable listing of ambitious goals. I have written about the difference between goal setting and goal achievement. The first is no assurance of the second.

We can come up short on our goals for any number of lacks:

• Lack of effort
• Lack of resources
• Lack of consistent follow-through
• Lack of confidence
• Lack of preparation
• Lack of __________ [you fill in the blank].

One lack that we may fail to recognize is that of authenticity.  I saw it with students and their college majors.  Specifically, when a student was following a career path dictated by something outside of herself. This could be the allure of money (I want this career because of the income), the tease of celebrity (I want to be adored by millions), or the expectation of family members (my parents say I need to be a doctor). None of these speak to the authenticity of the individual. They miss the heart and soul of the person.

Photo ©Steve Piscitelli. 2019

Re-reading a classic Leo Buscaglia book, I came across two reminders we might want to consider as we embark (before we embark?) on our goal achievement for 2020. In Buscaglia’s words:

• “When you start following my way, it will lead you to me and you will get lost. The only way to follow is your  way.” (p. 131)
• “I think you were made unique because you have some unique statement to make. Dedicate your life to finding out what that statement is.” (p. 174)

My goals have to be my goals. Your goals have to be your goals. How can you create your unique statement if you use my words, my reasoning, and my desires?

If I follow your dream, do I ever become me?

R.D. Laing stated, “I cannot experience your experience.”

And I cannot live your dream. In fact, can I really live my life to the fullest if my goal is to be a mini you? Is that authentic?

Or as Thoreau reminded us, “Oh God, to reach the point of death only to find that you have never lived at all.”

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Video Recommendation of the Week

Lee Ann Womack reminds us to dance our dance.

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Make it a great week and HTRB has needed.

Stay tuned for my new book to be released in early 2020:
Roxie Looks for Purpose Beyond the Biscuit.
Well, actually, my dog Roxie gets top billing on the author page for this work. Without her, there would be no story.
Click here for more information about the book.

In the meantime, check out her blog.

And you can still order:

• My book, Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019), (print and e-book) is available on More information (including seven free podcast episodes that spotlight the seven core values highlighted in the book) at www.stevepiscitelli.com.
• Check out my book Stories about Teaching, Learning, and Resilience: No Need to be an Island (2017). It has been adopted for teaching, learning, and coaching purposes. I conducted (September 2019) a half-day workshop for a community college’s new faculty onboarding program using the scenarios in this book. Contact me if you and your team are interested in doing the same. The accompanying videos would serve to stimulate community-building conversations at the beginning of a meeting.

My podcasts can be found at The Growth and Resilience Network®.

You will find more about what I do at www.stevepiscitelli.com.

©2020. Steve Piscitelli
The Growth and Resilience Network®