(#352) When Islands Protect And Support

Posted on February 19, 2017 by Steve Piscitelli

“This country will not be a good place for any of us to live in
unless we make it a good place for all of us to live in.”—Teddy Roosevelt

Two stories. One lesson.

This past week, Laurie (my bride) and I took time to tour the Center for Civil and Human Rights. We sat down at one exhibit that replicates a lunch counter sit-in. With our hands placed on the counter, the headphones situated securely on our ears transported us to the 1960’s. To a time when people took a seat to make a stand about racial prejudice and discrimination.

We sat listening to the hate-filled voices whispering—and then yelling—in our ears. They hurled threats. We heard thumps, bangs and loud noises. At one point, we both jumped a bit from our seats at the counter.  While we were never in any physical danger, we felt (at some limited level) the fear that those brave protesters felt.  To say the exhibit moved us remains a gross understatement.

By the end of (only) two minutes, our “demonstration” ended. The docent handed me a tissue. I dabbed my eyes, truly moved by the experience. I remember the words of M.L.K., Jr. “Faith is taking the first step even when you don’t see the whole staircase.”

Photo by Steve Piscitelli

Photo by Steve Piscitelli (@ the Center for Civil and Human Rights)

Those young 1960’s protesters came together, tired of being buffeted in a sea of hatred. They might have been on an island, but they came together on that island and led the way. Silent no more, perhaps another M.L.K., Jr. quote rang true to them: “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”

A few days later, we drove to the other end of Georgia to take part in the annual Valentine’s Day Renewal of Vows in Savannah’s City Market.  We have participated in the annual event since the late 1990’s. The Reverend Billy Hester and his wife, Cheri, officiate. Hester has led the Asbury Memorial United Methodist Church congregation since the early 1990’s. When he arrived, the church was by all appearances on its last legs. Membership languished at about 25 souls. The average age hovered around eighty years old.

The last time we visited the church for a Sunday service, the pews were full! Hundreds of people gathered for praise and glory. Why? The stewardship of Hester and his wife. The inclusive nature of their authentically positive message resonated with the surrounding neighborhood.  They held a lamp of humanity for many who felt alone. Each member helps build a resilient community.

They created an island of souls, so that individual souls would not have to struggle on their own islands.

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

And while my descriptions above capture but a small piece of the sacrifice and courage, both stories show the power of a community coming together for protection and support. Collaboration, growth, and resilience.

The subtitle of my latest book reads No Need to be an Island. I emphasize the power of collective group.  It can help each member recognize and build his and her own capacity for growth and change.

The congregation and the museum teach us the value of coming together, appreciating, and accepting (not simply “tolerating”) our neighbors.

“What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived.
It is what difference we have made to the lives of others.”—
Nelson Mandela

Video recommendation for the week:

This week, I offer a short meditation video from Belleruth Naparstek.  The actual meditation begins at the one-minute mark of the video.  She brings in the power of community near the 4:52 marker.  Treat yourself to a little quiet reflection time today.

Make it an inspiring week and H.T.R.B. as needed.

For information about and to order my new book, Stories About Teaching, Learning, and Resilience: No Need to be an Island, click here.

You can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

Check out my latest podcasts at The Growth and Resilience Network™
(http://stevepiscitelli.com/media-broadcast/podcast).

Check out my website  (http://stevepiscitelli.com/programs/what-i-do) for programming information as well as details about upcoming webinars  (http://stevepiscitelli.com/programs/webinars).

Pearson Education publishes my student textbooks for life success—Choices for College Success (3rd edition) and Study Skills: Do I Really Need This Stuff?  (3rd edition).

(c) 2017. Steve Piscitelli. All rights reserved.

Posted in acceptance, Community, growth, Relationship, resilience, service | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

(#351) Show Don’t Tell

Posted on February 12, 2017 by Steve Piscitelli

Saying it doesn’t make it so…too much talking mutes the story. 

The teacher becomes the student—again.

This past week, I received a full manuscript review and critique of (what will eventually become) my first novel.  The reviewer—a student of mine from thirty some-odd years ago—did a masterful job of pointing out the challenges as well as a few bright spots.

As I read and reread her critique, one of my writing offenses fell in the category of “Show Don’t Tell.” In other words, my characters and narrator did a lot of talking when they should have been taking action to move the story forward.  Or a character would label something as “desolate” or “beautiful” but not fully paint the picture. Saying something is “desolate” does not have the same punch as painting a picture of desolation for the reader. Saying it does not make it so.

My manuscript reviewer said this (“show don’t tell”) rears its head with many novelists (at least, I guess, the ones who struggle to grab the attention of the readers).

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

I thought back to the times I worked with students and their essay writing.  Often, they would “tell” me that something was “major,” “critical,” “important,” or “sensational” but would fall short on proving or “showing” how the descriptor was apt.  They failed to support their assertions with detail.

In short, too much talking mutes the story—whether that story is an essay, a book, a memo, or a policy initiative.

I can see a lesson here beyond academic or novel writing.  Think about how we might encounter or be guilty of using “show don’t tell” in our lives.  We either think we are clear or do not know how to paint a picture for the audience.  Our dialogue ends up muting the point. What we say or do not say stands in the way of making powerful connections.

For example:

Around the house.  My wife and I plan on building and planting a raised-box garden in our backyard. We read about how to do it. We said that we would “put it in the backyard.” But until we actually drove some stakes into the ground, all we had were words, little action. The stakes provided a visual of where the garden will eventually stand. It “showed” us location, sunlight, actual size, and potential challenges and assets.

In the gym.  Ever work with a trainer in the gym? Do you want one who will tell you about each piece of equipment but nothing else? Or would you get more from a trainer if she “showed” you how to use specific equipment to target muscle groups important to you?

Learning with video.  An effective “How To” video does more than just tell you what to do. It will “show” and label steps for you. It provides a vivid description.

At work.  A boss who wants a healthier workplace has to do more than provide information (written or spoken) that exalts the importance of diet, exercise, sleep, and downtime.  He has to “show” it by modeling appropriate action.  (Don’t tell me to disconnect when I go home—and then expect me immediately to respond to a late-night email.)

In music. Think of your favorite songwriter. Maybe a particular song paints vivid imagery for you.  Chances are the bard “showed” you an emotion or action rather than just told you.

You might be able to transform your leadership skills when you “show” the power of what you want your team to do rather than just telling them.

Think of the impact of this for you and your goals. A simple goal statement (in writing or in your head) might be a great start—but is it powerful enough to drive you forward? Have you created the imagery of what the goal will look like?

Do you have “show and action” in your plan—or is it just talk?

Video recommendation for the week:

Maybe I should asked these young people for help developing my characters!  Notice how they tell what to do and then “show” it.  To the head of the class!

Make it an inspiring week and H.T.R.B. as needed.

For information about and to order my new book, Stories About Teaching, Learning, and Resilience: No Need to be an Island, click here.

You can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

Check out my latest podcasts at The Growth and Resilience Network™
(http://stevepiscitelli.com/media-broadcast/podcast).

Check out my website  (http://stevepiscitelli.com/programs/what-i-do) for programming information as well as details about upcoming webinars  (http://stevepiscitelli.com/programs/webinars).

Pearson Education publishes my student textbooks for life success—Choices for College Success (3rd edition) and Study Skills: Do I Really Need This Stuff?  (3rd edition).

(c) 2017. Steve Piscitelli. All rights reserved.

Posted in assumptions, awareness, branding, emotional intelligence, Impact, influence, Life lessons, Mindfulness, Motivation, productivity | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

(#350) Regrets? Choices And Lessons.

Posted on February 5, 2017 by Steve Piscitelli

A culmination of all those choices. Some small.
Some large. All help create the person you are becoming.

Would you, if you could, go back in time and change the choices that you made?  I know.  A wide open question and open to lots of interpretation. (I’m not thinking about those 1970’s leisure suits you might have bought…though I can remember that red crushed faux velvet suit I wore in 1974.  Insert hand against forehead here!)

In response to an earlier blog post, a friend shared a Mercyme music video with me last week. (I have posted it in the Video Recommendation section below.) The songwriter is writing a letter to his younger self. At one point he considers, “Even though I love this crazy life, sometimes I wish it were a smoother ride….”

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

While there have been some rough, tumultuous, and gut-wrenching times, I don’t think I would change my choices. Yes, some of the stuff was a real pain in the posterior. Sure, if I had the “power” to go back, I would be tempted to take back an ill-advised word, change a self-congratulatory action, or rethink an ill-conceived plan.  And while I might wish I had had more tact, diplomacy, and grace, I am willing to concede that all of those choices for good or bad made me who I am today.

I own the choices. I look at their culmination in the mirror each day.

I have had failures to be sure. As cliché as it sounds, they helped me grow.

Again, Mercyme sings it this way to the younger self:

…Or do I go deep

And try to change

The choices that you’ll make

‘Cause they’re choices

That made me….

Regrets? That’s a question each person has to answer. I do not make light of traumatic situations you may have faced or currently confront.  Consider, however, your overall life journey. The people you have touched. The differences you have made and the legacy you will leave (and build each day).  A culmination of all those choices. Some small. Some large. All help create the person you are becoming. Don’t be too quick to dismiss any of them. This does not excuse inappropriate behavior. It does look for lessons, though.

John Milton observed that “the mind is its own place, and in itself can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.”

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

I titled a song on my second CD, “Love My Life.”  And old man speaks to a young person and shares:

Listen to what I say

Life’s too short to throw away

It’s filled with many threats

And too many do regret the life they’ve lived

But I choose to live my life instead.

Enjoy the entire recording by clicking below. (c) Steve Piscitelli. 2010. All rights reserved.

Video recommendation for the week:

Mercyme’s Dear Younger Me.

Make it an inspiring week and H.T.R.B. as needed.

For information about and to order my new book, Stories About Teaching, Learning, and Resilience: No Need to be an Island, click here.

You can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

Check out my latest podcasts at The Growth and Resilience Network™
(http://stevepiscitelli.com/media-broadcast/podcast).

Check out my website  (http://stevepiscitelli.com/programs/what-i-do) for programming information as well as details about upcoming webinars  (http://stevepiscitelli.com/programs/webinars).

Pearson Education publishes my student textbooks for life success—Choices for College Success (3rd edition) and Study Skills: Do I Really Need This Stuff?  (3rd edition).

(c) 2017. Steve Piscitelli. All rights reserved.

Posted in creating your future, Failure, fortitude, Goals, Gratitude, Integrity, lessons reaffirmed, Life lessons, Life's purpose, resilience | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

(#349) A Tangled Mess

Posted on January 29, 2017 by Steve Piscitelli

We could ignore the tangles and hope they go away on their own.
What is the healthiest and safest manner to help us stop going in circles, loosen up, and prosper?

Ever had to deal with a root-bound plant? You know the kind. When you gently remove it from the pot for transplanting, you find the soil enveloped by the root system.  Plants in this condition need attention to survive.  If the tangle is minimum, you might be able to gently massage the root ball with your fingers to loosen it up.  At other times, when the root’s streamers are many and tightly wound, you may need to use a knife to cut through the tangle.

While the “violence” may shock the plant, it has a better chance for survival after this intervention.  As one planting blog states, “The only alternative is planting it root bound, and no root bound plant can thrive. It will be hard to water and it will live a short, sad life, always sickly and constrained, if it makes it at all.”

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

Sometimes we might feel like that plant. All tangled up with the challenges of daily life. One tangle might come from work, another from our social circle, and still another emerges from our emotional state. We could ignore the tangles and hope they go away on their own.

They probably won’t. They will overtake our wellbeing. Perhaps we need an “intervention” of sorts. And while I’m NOT suggesting we “take a knife to the ball,” the level of the intervention will depend upon the severity of the tangle. Just how tied up in knots are we. The first step is awareness, followed by a questioning of assumptions.

If we want to thrive, we cannot ignore our challenges. And we must not subject ourselves to continual self-flagellation. Just like our root-challenged plant that has been sliced and manipulated, we also need some loving care. Like a massage, understanding words from caring friends and family (and ourselves), improved diet, uplifting readings, quiet time, a visit to a therapist, or whatever provides healthy solace and movement toward improvement.

Video recommendation for the week:

Continuing with this week’s metaphor, this video provides a quick 67-second strategy for dealing with root bound plants. As the horticulturist says, if we do not deal with the problem, the plant will wither. Listen to his words. They provide something to consider as we encounter challenges.  What is the healthiest and safest manner to help us to stop going in circles, loosen up, and prosper?

Make it an inspiring week and H.T.R.B. as needed.

For information about and to order my new book, Stories About Teaching, Learning, and Resilience: No Need to be an Island, click here.

You can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

Check out my latest podcasts at The Growth and Resilience Network™
(http://stevepiscitelli.com/media-broadcast/podcast).

Check out my website  (http://stevepiscitelli.com/programs/what-i-do) for programming information as well as details about upcoming webinars  (http://stevepiscitelli.com/programs/webinars).

Pearson Education publishes my student textbooks for life success—Choices for College Success (3rd edition) and Study Skills: Do I Really Need This Stuff?  (3rd edition).

(c) 2017. Steve Piscitelli. All rights reserved.

Posted in Anxiety, Appreciation, assumptions, awareness, Balance, Critical Thinking, fitness, fortitude, growth, Life lessons, resilience | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

(#348) Repair The Bucket. Fill The Bucket.

Posted on January 22, 2017 by Steve Piscitelli

Who can help you? Who can you help?

Do you sometimes just get tired?  Feel like you are getting nowhere fast? Might even believe you are moving backwards?

A friend reminded me of a powerful visual. This woman is the caregiver for a family member who recently has experienced significant health challenges. My friend, who has always been a ray of sunlight for those around her (read: positive, upbeat, whimsical, witty, a joyous person) told me she had hit the wall. She felt like a dark cloud had swallowed her up.

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

In short, her resilience—for a moment—failed her. She felt crushed by the worry. She had run out of fuel. Nothing was left.

Think of resilience like the water in a bucket.  At times, we lose water. Other times, we add.  When we lose water, envision picking up a ladle and spooning a bit more water back into your bucket.

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

But maybe the bucket springs a leak. You  lose a bit more water than usual.  You find a way to patch the bucket, stop the leaking, spoon in replacement water, and continue onward.

Consider the water as a metaphor for your energy, your resilience, your ability to cope. When you (the bucket, the vessel) are challenged repeatedly, you may start to show wear. Perhaps you spring a second “leak.” Then more hardship—and more leaks.  You do what you have always done. You pick up the pace and pick up the pace and pick up the pace of shoveling in more, more, and more water (fuel or resilience)—until you can no longer do it.  You’re spent.

Like the person with a bucket springing more and more leaks, at some point you cannot physically or emotionally keep up. No matter how fast you ladle, the number and size of the bucket holes overtake your good efforts.

Exhausted, you drop the ladle, and the bucket runs dry. You are at a loss. You know the bucket (you) needs repair but you no longer have the energy, or at least the amount of energy you need to repair and refill. You have difficulty taking care of yourself.

A few blog posts back, I spoke of The Six Fs of our lives.  When one area—the family member’s health for my friend above—begins to crumble under strain and stress, what other area can help you regain your balance (and repair the bucket, and regain your resilient self)?  For my friend, it was a friend of hers who made a suggestion which lead to an action which brought about relief (for all involved).  To be sure, there are still significant challenges (the bucket, after all, has experienced lots of strain) but my resilient friend has been able to catch her breath and begin to see the light from within the darkness.

Six Fs (Steve Piscitelli)

Six Fs (Steve Piscitelli)

Perhaps you feel like that straining bucket. Maybe you don’t, but someone close to you seems to be springing leaks faster than he or she can plug them.

When we are resilient, we tend to bounce back and adapt.  Grit, another oft-used concept, looks at our perseverance to continue onward.  My friend not only bounced back, she moved forward.  Will her bucket run low again? Probably. Will yours? Probably.

Think of a particularly difficult or challenging situation you have in front of you this coming week. What can you do to help you regain your strength and desire to move forward (plug the bucket)? And, what can you do to move forward (begin to refill that bucket) and move toward the goal?

Who can help you? Who can you help?

Video recommendation for the week:

How can we help our children build their resilience skills? What lessons present themselves for adults?

Make it an inspiring week and H.T.R.B. as needed.

55031146_high-resolution-front-cover_6597771-1For information about and to order my new book, Stories About Teaching, Learning, and Resilience: No Need to be an Island, click here.

You can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

Check out my latest podcasts at The Growth and Resilience Network™
(http://stevepiscitelli.com/media-broadcast/podcast).

Check out my website  (http://stevepiscitelli.com/programs/what-i-do) for programming information as well as details about upcoming webinars  (http://stevepiscitelli.com/programs/webinars).

Pearson Education publishes my student textbooks for life success—Choices for College Success (3rd edition) and Study Skills: Do I Really Need This Stuff?  (3rd edition).

(c) 2017. Steve Piscitelli. All rights reserved.

Posted in awareness, Balance, courage, Critical Thinking, empathy, fitness, focus, fortitude, Grit, resilience | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

(#347) Clues At The Tip Of My Nose

Posted on January 15, 2017 by Steve Piscitelli

The little child had returned to remind and reassure me
to believe in my abilities and myself.

A few months ago, I sat on a balcony three stories above the Gulf of Mexico in Key Largo, Florida.  The pre-sunrise morning had a calming stillness about it.  As I sat alone, I listened to a guided meditation.

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

One of the suggestions during the practice asked me to imagine looking in the window of my childhood home and describe the scene.  How old was I? What was I doing? How did I look? And, how did I feel looking at “little Steve”? On the other side of the window, I saw my younger self, sitting there.

On that balcony, with my eyes closed, I saw this unfold in my mind’s eye, at the tip of my nose. I distinctly remember experiencing a flood of emotions. Some happy. Some not so joyful. At one point of the meditation, young Steve, turned toward the window and looked at his older self, staring at him from the outside. As I looked into his eyes, little Steve looked hopeful, fearful, joyful, and tearful.  He appeared to need reassuring.  What would it be like on the other side of that window his eyes seemed to ask?

A few days ago, during my morning meditation, a host of random thoughts attempted to crowd into my bid for peace in the gap. All at once, I experienced a blur—kind of a fast-motion video—at the tip of my nose. As I focused, the image slowed down. I saw faces of smiling innocent little children pass by. Finally, there was little Steve again. Looking me straight in the eye. Why was he back? Had he ever left?

I searched for a message—what was the little person looking for?

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

At the time, I had been grappling with a few major decisions and challenges. More so than normal (for me), I had been feeling a bit anxious about the next steps. When I thought about my younger self, I remembered all of the times little Steve felt anxious about the future—sometimes, just about the next day. Back then, I found a way forward. At times with help from those near me and, at other times, by my own grit. (Though, at the time, I had no idea what “grit” or “resilience” meant.)

So, maybe, the little child I saw at the tip of my nose that morning had returned to remind and reassure me to believe in my abilities and myself. In his child-like way, he knew I was the one needing reassurance.  He had my back and he reminded me of all I learned years earlier about courage, fortitude, and appreciation for myself.

You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe,
deserve your love and affection.
– Buddha –

Video recommendation for the week:

Enjoy this video reminder of what children can teach us…if we only pay attention.  While I cannot speak about the book promoted in the video (I have not read it), the video packs a lot into a brief few minutes.  Enjoy.

Make it an inspiring week and H.T.R.B. as needed.

For information about and to order my new book, Stories About Teaching, Learning, and Resilience: No Need to be an Island, click here.

You can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

Check out my latest podcasts at The Growth and Resilience Network™
(http://stevepiscitelli.com/media-broadcast/podcast).

Check out my website  (http://stevepiscitelli.com/programs/what-i-do) for programming information as well as details about upcoming webinars  (http://stevepiscitelli.com/programs/webinars).

Pearson Education publishes my student textbooks for life success—Choices for College Success (3rd edition) and Study Skills: Do I Really Need This Stuff?  (3rd edition).

(c) 2017. Steve Piscitelli. All rights reserved.

Posted in Anxiety, Appreciation, confidence, courage, curiosity, empathy, Gratitude, Grit, growth, Life lessons, Personal growth, Personal Wellbeing, resilience, respect, self-love | Tagged , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

(#346) Video Outtakes: Finding Humor And Moving Forward

Posted on January 8, 2017 by Steve Piscitelli

Enjoy three-minutes-and-fifty-one-seconds of my miscues.
And consider how each miscue you make can strengthen you and maybe help someone else. Don’t be ruled by fear of failure.

President Theodore Roosevelt had a way with words. Growing up as a spindly and sickly child, “Teddy” would become an adult exuding energy, purpose, confidence, and resilience. Whatever your view of his politics, his fortitude stands out.

Nearly three decades ago, as I was navigating a major life transition, I gravitated to one of his quotes:

“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure… than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.”

The quote reminded me of the importance of not allowing the fear of failure to rule my decisions.

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

This week’s blog does not purport to be as heady or profound as our former Rough Ridding president. Nor am I discounting the disconcerting reality of life traumas.

But at times, a bit of humor can remind us to lighten up. Especially when we stumble.  Such was the case recently as I recorded forty-two videos to accompany my newly released book Stories About Teaching, Learning, and Resilience: No Need to be an Island.

My wife, bless her soul, served as the videographer.  We actually shot each video twice. Once as a “draft” to see how they looked. The second time was the final shoot.  So, in reality, we shot eighty-four videos over a four-month period.  (Did I mention how much I love my wife’s patience?)

And each video had a number of “do-overs” due to errors on my part, environment interference, or technical glitches.  I decided to gather up some of those clips and put them into one video of outtakes.  More than three minutes of my mistakes and frustration. And each time I watch it, I howl with delight.  I have to admit, there were times during the video sessions that I felt like giving up. For a variety of reasons, I’m glad I didn’t.

Again, Teddy Roosevelt said, “It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.”

Or as Anthony Burgess is reported to have said, “Laugh and world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.”

So, enjoy three-minutes-and-fifty-one-seconds of my miscues. And consider how each miscue you make and encounter can strengthen you and maybe help someone else.

Video recommendation for the week:

So, you think it’s easy to make videos?

Make it an inspiring week, a wonderful holiday season, and H.T.R.B. as needed.

For information about my new book, Stories About Teaching, Learning, and Resilience: No Need to be an Island, click here.

You can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

Check out my latest podcasts at The Growth and Resilience Network™
(http://stevepiscitelli.com/media-broadcast/podcast).

Check out my website  (http://stevepiscitelli.com/programs/what-i-do) for programming information as well as details about upcoming webinars  (http://stevepiscitelli.com/programs/webinars).

Pearson Education publishes my student textbooks for life success—Choices for College Success (3rd edition) and Study Skills: Do I Really Need This Stuff?  (3rd edition).

(c) 2017. Steve Piscitelli. All rights reserved.

Posted in authenticity, confidence, courage, Failure, fortitude, Grit, Life lessons, resilience | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

(#345) Piece Of The Puzzle

Posted on January 1, 2017 by Steve Piscitelli

You may not even “get anything” for it. 
But you may carry an important piece to someone else’s puzzle.

WeWork has locations in nearly twenty United States cities and more than ten nations. Its mission promises, “To create a world where people work to make a life, not just a living.” They provide different options for people to rent workspace while at the same time having the opportunity to mix, mingle, and share ideas with other professionals.  They proclaim, “Community is our catalyst.”

WeLive, a site offering a new way to think of one’s residence, simply states, “We are only as good as the people we surround ourselves with.”

If you have read or listened to Tony Hsieh of Zappos, you have heard him speak of the power of “collisionability.”

My new book (released later this month) focuses on the need for purposeful collaboration within the workplace.  We grow with input, feedback, and support. The combination to the lock–where does it lie?

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

A Forbes piece offers that

“Collaboration isn’t about being best friends,
or even necessarily liking
everyone you’re working with.
It is about putting all and any baggage aside,
bringing your best self to the table, and focusing on the common goal.”

I think that at times we miss a vital collaboration consideration. Whether we call it collaboration, collisionability, or teamwork, each person needs what the other people bring to the table.  Even the newest member of a department has something to share, something to offer, that will help.

For me, Rabbi Kushner said it best. We all “carry at least one piece to someone else’s puzzle.”

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

When your world seems a little out-of-balance or off-center, where can you find that piece that can move you foward?

Often we think of a “puzzle” as being perplexing; maybe even defeating.  And it can be if we never find that one piece that helps us solve the problem or meet the challenge.

As you embark on your new year and your goals for this year, think about how your goals and expertise can help someone else.  Not in a manipulative manner. And you may not even “get anything” for it.  But you may carry an important piece to someone else’s puzzle.

Video recommendation for the week:

Your idea or support—your piece of the puzzle—can help create meaningful collaborations. This week’s recommendation reminds us of this power within.

Make it an inspiring week, a wonderfully worthwhile new year, and H.T.R.B. as needed.

You can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

Check out my latest podcasts at The Growth and Resilience Network™
(http://stevepiscitelli.com/media-broadcast/podcast).

Check out my website  (http://stevepiscitelli.com/programs/what-i-do) for programming information as well as details about upcoming webinars (http://stevepiscitelli.com/programs/webinars).

My books Choices for College Success (3rd edition) and Study Skills: Do I Really Need This Stuff?  (3rd edition) are published by Pearson Education.

(c) 2016. Steve Piscitelli. All rights reserved.

Posted in collaboration, Life lessons | Tagged , | 1 Comment

(#344) A Blogger’s Retrospective: 2016 In Review

Posted on December 25, 2016 by Steve Piscitelli

May your 2017 goals lead to your actions and your actions lead to your dreams.

While sitting in an Austin hotel room at the end of May 2010, I wrote my first post for this blog. At that time, I had three goals:

  • Experience a new (for me) aspect of social media
  • Develop and flesh out new ideas
  • Provide something of value—not just another cyber rant.

I believe I have accomplished the first and the second. It is up to you whether I have accomplished the third. My blog posts contain videos, book recommendations and summaries, questions to ponder, and always a takeaway to apply immediately to life.  I have remained true to my commitment to publish one blog post per week. This post marks the 344th consecutive week.  And I know that I am #alwayslearning!

Thank you for reading, commenting, and sharing.  I would love to hear what you found of value on this blog. And, please feel free to share any ideas you have for future posts.

As has now become tradition for this blog, this last-of-the-year offering lists each of the previous 51 posts I have made to this blog this year. Along with each title, you will find a statement about each. Perhaps a nugget or two will provide inspiration. I have linked each title to the actual blog should you want to read it, re-read it, or share it. Thank you for your continued support and comments.

I also have included (1) the top five (by number of views/visits) blog posts for 2016; and (2) top five blog posts since I started this journey in 2010.

*Top Five 2016 Posts on this Blog*

1.  (#308) Thanks. You’re Helping!

2. (#309) Thanks. You’re Not Helping!

3. (#295) His Heart Created A Wonderful Life

4. (#299) The First Forty Years

5. (#297) In Their Words: Leadership and Collaboration

 

*Top Five All-Time Posts on this Blog*

1. (#194) Honor the Past. Celebrate the Present. Embrace the Future.
2. (#86) A Model for Critical Thinking

3. (#18) Crab Pot Mentality!
4. (#93) SQ4R: Strategic Reading Strategies for the Classroom and Beyond

My video that accompanies this post is my most watched YouTube video.

5. (#219) The First Day of Class: People Before Paper!
All the best to you and your family and your friends as you create and enjoy your 2016 journey. May your 2017 goals lead to your actions and your actions lead to your dreams.

2016 in Review

 

  1. Community Resilience * Maybe we can approach resilience as a condition of not only being adaptable to a disaster but also living and sustaining a healthy life that avoids (or, at least, prepares for) disaster before it happens.
  2. Benefits of Remaining a Continual Learner * It can help us fill in gaps between assumptions and realities.
  3. His Heart Created a Wonderful Life * Stay healthy and hug a little longer.
  4. Not Us. Them! * The campus is not about the president, professors or custodians—it’s about the community.
  5. In Their Words: In Their Words * The leadership concepts and exhortations in this post can be summed up in a word, RESPECT. Respect for your abilities, respect for your followers, respect for your team, respect for the mission, respect for humor, and respect for relationship building.
  6. Do You Have “Hell, Yeah!” Goals? * When you establish new goals, consider these four components. Give your goals a second R.E.A.D.
  7. The First Forty Years * If you held me down to provide the “secret sauce,” I’d say it is simply giving each other space.
  8. Is Grit a Crutch? An Excuse? A Strategy? A game Changer? * To disregard fortitude ignores the importance of personal effort. No, it does not always “pay off” like we might want it to. Grit, though, is a contributing factor on our journey.
  9. Authenticity: What Does It Look Like For You? * As you live your life, Please take my cue, To thine own self be true.
  10.  Show Muscles * We can end up doing things that look good, feel good, or make a splash while ignoring the support system behind each of those choices.
  11. Give Your All Stars the Spotlight * Find a way to let your colleagues share what they are proud of and how they do it.
  12. Random Thoughts on Overload, Gratitude and Connectedness * But wouldn’t it be a shame if we create such unforgiving filters that the positive, the joy and the connections never make it through?
  13. Question. Grow * “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”–Epictetus. “Question everything.” Einstein.
  14. The Power of Empathy for Self * The first person we have to lead and be true to remains ourselves.
  15. Thank You for Paying Attention to Me * Do you treat those you lead and those you follow with dignity? Do you do the same for yourself?
  16. You’re Helping! * Laurie and I remain deeply indebted to many, many friends for their positive thoughts and love.
  17. You’re NOT Helping! * I totally understand that many people just don’t know what to do when someone in front of them says, “I have cancer.”
  18. Plussing + Amplification = Authentic Quality * What can you do this week to plus a situation and amplify someone’s position?
  19. Grade Inflation. Have We Arrived In Lake Wobegon? * Grade inflation/distortion has consequences for self-efficacy, self-awareness, and self-competence.
  20. Organizational Climate and Culture * Those who don’t understand the importance of relationship building to affect culture change are not leading but simply taking a meandering walk.
  21. Information Literacy 2.0. WHO is the WHO of Your Information? * We need to pay more attention to the sources of our information and we now need to question whether the sources are real people.
  22. P2P: Building a Story * Every encounter is a story waiting to happen; a story waiting to be written.
  23. Play Your Song, Now * What song lives in you?
  24. Process, Trust, and Organizational Growth: An Optimistic Approach *  Trust is what teams, students, teachers, employees and leaders need in order to challenge the process on the way to a better answer.  
  25. Finding Your Passion Is Just The Beginning * Once we discover what we feel is our passion (or at least, our interest that could become a passion), the work has only begun. 
  26. Bigger, Shinier, Newer Not Necessarily Better * Maybe I can help start small movement for change in the big
  27. Relationships and Leadership * The demagogic hot head may catch attention—for a while. But soon he will burn his staff out.
  28. No Need To Be An Island * Regardless of your calling or situation, collaboration and communication are powerful forces. There is no need to be an island.
  29. The Nudge: Everything Sends A Message * We take chances, we fail, we learn, we grow,
    and we move forward.
  30. Excellence And The Ordinary * Those striving for and maintaining excellence constantly want to know more—get to the next level.
  31. Who Sets Your Agenda * Why let someone else interrupt my thought process and mindset with what they see as something I “need” to know “right now” from the “world out there”?
  32. What Motivates Your Reasoning * It can be very easy to point out the window…The challenge is to look into the mirror.
  33. Don’t Let Anyone Steal Your Lunch Money * Don’t let anyone deny who you are.
  34. Where Is Your Focus Space? * It seems I do some of my best thinking when I am not in my workspace.
  35. Structures For Organization: Implications for Teaching and Training * Just because it was tossed, doesn’t mean it was caught. Just because it was talked, doesn’t mean it was taught.
  36. Waiting For A Life Guard? * What have you been fearful of leaping into—but would really like to experience? What are you curious about doing or exploring?
  37. Textured, Colored And A Bit Off-Center * By going a little off-center, we start to see things that can enhance our view. We open ourselves up to larger possibilities and opportunities.
  38. I Saw Two Kids Playing * Every step of the journey does not need a checklist.
  39. Quieting The Mind * My goal is to quiet the restless mind briefly now and then build to a more sustained practice later. 
  40. 100 Years of Resilience * Life is not about me, it’s about others.
  41. Questioning Risk * It’s OK to go into uncharted and murky waters. Diving in headfirst is optional.
  42. Drive Like Your Kids Live Here * When we attempt to connect with people, we need to make it relevant to them. We need to connect to their stories.
  43. Politics, Anxiety, And A Few Coping Strategies * How and with whom can you share love and goodness this week?
  44. Wellbeing Is A Skill: From Balance To Integration * Wellbeing does not just happen.
    It requires thought, planning, and follow-through. Workplace leaders have to be role models.
  45. Don’t Be Defined By Your Past * Do we need to have a life-altering event to find peace?  How do you find your place of peace? Have you found it?
  46. Do Not Underestimate The Power Of Place * How would you feel if you found out you could never come back to your “place”?
  47. Learning From The Low Vibrations * At times, we find ourselves caught up in the low-vibrations of negativity and defeatism. Draw on the strength within, around, and above.
  48. It’s Up To You * Treat your dreams like your property. If you don’t protect them from theft and damage, who will?
  49. Drop And Leave * I have witnessed people play a disappointing game of “drop and leave” with their goals and dreams.
  50. Let’s Review * This week spend some time looking in your rear view mirror. 
  51. Reflect, Remove, and Replace: Focusing On The Space * All of us have experienced times when one or more of the slices, sectors, segments, or spaces of our lives no longer seem to serve us.
  52. A Blogger’s Retrospective: 2016 in Review * A listing of the previous 51 blog posts for 2016.

Make it an inspiring week, a wonderful holiday season, and H.T.R.B. as needed.

You can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

Check out my latest podcasts at The Growth and Resilience Network™
(http://stevepiscitelli.com/media-broadcast/podcast).

Check out my website  (http://stevepiscitelli.com/programs/what-i-do) for programming information as well as details about upcoming webinars (http://stevepiscitelli.com/programs/webinars).

My books Choices for College Success (3rd edition) and Study Skills: Do I Really Need This Stuff?  (3rd edition) are published by Pearson Education.

(c) 2016. Steve Piscitelli. All rights reserved.

Posted in Life lessons | Leave a comment

(#343) Reflect, Remove, And Replace: Focus On The Space

Posted on December 18, 2016 by Steve Piscitelli

All of us have experienced times when one or more of the
slices, sectors, segments, or spaces of our lives no longer seem to serve us.

All of us are multi-dimensional beings.  One wellbeing model divides our lives into six dimensions. When one dimension goes off the rails, it affects the others.

6-dimensions

Or you could label the dimensions as follows:

Six Fs (Steve Piscitelli)

Model Two: Six Fs (Steve Piscitelli)

The two models do have overlap.  Each slice of the Six Fs model actually holds the six dimensions from Model One. For instance, within the family dimension of our lives we can find social relationships, emotional needs, physical demands, occupational expectations, intellectual stimulation, and spiritual engagement.  And so on for each of the other dimensions.

Regardless of the model you subscribe to, the reality remains that all of us have experienced times when one or more of the slices, sectors, segments, or spaces of our lives just do not seem to be working any longer. Something no longer serves us, no longer sustains our wellbeing. Once aware of the culprit, we then go about attempting to remove it.  But, what do we do once we have completed that surgery?

Once we identify what no longer nourishes us (and might even be debilitating us), we need to consider what to bring in as a replacement?

Or more simply: Once we make space in a particular dimension of life, what can we fill that space with that will nourish and serve us? What can we add to our lives that will help us lead (more of) a life of meaning, purpose, and virtue?

Or maybe, once we make the space, it might be beneficial to leave the space be for the time being. Not fill it for the sake of filling it.  Be mindful about what we focus on.  Reflect on the space. Just be.

As you look toward 2017, maybe you can use this strategy of removing, replacing, and reflecting as you consider your personal goals.  For instance, using my Six Fs Model above:

  • Fitness
    • What is no longer serving you well when it comes to your fitness (physical or emotional)? What can you (do you need to) eliminate from your life because it no longer serves and nourishes you?
    • Once you have made this space, with what can you fill it? What new virtuous habit can you build that will serve and nourish yourself?
  • Friends
    • What/Who is no longer serving you well when it comes to your friends? What can you (do you need to) eliminate from your life because it no longer serves and nourishes you? This does not have to mean you are walking away from your friends! (It could.) Or you could identify a habit you have that is no longer sustaining your social circle.
    • Once you have made this space, with what can you fill it? What new habit or social relationship can you build that will serve and nourish those around you and yourself?
Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

Photo (c) Steve Piscitelli

  • Family
    • What is no longer serving you well when it comes to your family relationships? What can you (do you need to) eliminate from your life because it no longer serves and nourishes you? This does not have to mean you are walking away from your family! You could identify a habit you have that is no longer serving your family unit.
    • Once you have made this space, with what can you fill it? What new virtuous habit can you build that will serve and nourish yourself and your family unit?
  • Function
    • What is no longer serving you well when it comes to your purpose? What can you (do you need to) eliminate from your life because it no longer serves and nourishes your purpose—who you are? What have you been doing that denies who you are?
    • Once you have made this space, with what can you fill it? What new virtuous habit can you build that will serve and nourish yourself?
  • Finances
    • What is no longer serving you well when it comes to your financial picture? What can you (do you need to) eliminate from your life because it no longer serves and nourishes your financial security? What have you been doing that jeopardizes your financial future?
    • Once you have made this space, with what can you fill it? What new virtuous habit can you build that will serve and nourish your financial future?
  •  Faith
    • What is no longer serving you well when it comes to your spirituality? What can you (do you need to) eliminate from your life because it no longer spiritually serves and nourishes you?
    • Once you have made this space, with what can you fill it? What new virtuous habit can you build that will serve and nourish yourself?

Be mindful of the spaces in your life. All the slices make a whole you.

Video recommendation for the week:

Listen to davidji discuss what he calls The Five Realms. He provides a brief explanation of each and then provides a few examples of how to identify where we might be able to free up some space.

NOTE: Next week I will publish and post my annual Blogger’s Retrospective. Give it a look as I list all of the year’s posts along with the top five posts from 2016 and my top five from the inception of the blog in 2010.

Make it an inspiring week, a wonderful holiday season, and H.T.R.B. as needed.  I will see you in 2017.

You can subscribe to my newsletter by clicking here.

Check out my latest podcasts at The Growth and Resilience Network™
(http://stevepiscitelli.com/media-broadcast/podcast).

Check out my website  (http://stevepiscitelli.com/programs/what-i-do) for programming information as well as details about upcoming webinars (http://stevepiscitelli.com/programs/webinars).

My books Choices for College Success (3rd edition) and Study Skills: Do I Really Need This Stuff?  (3rd edition) are published by Pearson Education.

(c) 2016. Steve Piscitelli. All rights reserved.

Posted in Appropriate Behavior, assumptions, authenticity, awareness, Balance, boundaries and limits, Find Your Happy Place, health, intentionality, Life lessons, life success, Life's purpose, Mindfulness, mindset | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments