Who can help you? Who can you help?
Do you sometimes just get tired? Feel like you are getting nowhere fast? Might even believe you are moving backwards?
A friend reminded me of a powerful visual. This woman is the caregiver for a family member who recently has experienced significant health challenges. My friend, who has always been a ray of sunlight for those around her (read: positive, upbeat, whimsical, witty, a joyous person) told me she had hit the wall. She felt like a dark cloud had swallowed her up.
In short, her resilience—for a moment—failed her. She felt crushed by the worry. She had run out of fuel. Nothing was left.
Think of resilience like the water in a bucket. At times, we lose water. Other times, we add. When we lose water, envision picking up a ladle and spooning a bit more water back into your bucket.
But maybe the bucket springs a leak. You lose a bit more water than usual. You find a way to patch the bucket, stop the leaking, spoon in replacement water, and continue onward.
Consider the water as a metaphor for your energy, your resilience, your ability to cope. When you (the bucket, the vessel) are challenged repeatedly, you may start to show wear. Perhaps you spring a second “leak.” Then more hardship—and more leaks. You do what you have always done. You pick up the pace and pick up the pace and pick up the pace of shoveling in more, more, and more water (fuel or resilience)—until you can no longer do it. You’re spent.
Like the person with a bucket springing more and more leaks, at some point you cannot physically or emotionally keep up. No matter how fast you ladle, the number and size of the bucket holes overtake your good efforts.
Exhausted, you drop the ladle, and the bucket runs dry. You are at a loss. You know the bucket (you) needs repair but you no longer have the energy, or at least the amount of energy you need to repair and refill. You have difficulty taking care of yourself.
A few blog posts back, I spoke of The Six Fs of our lives. When one area—the family member’s health for my friend above—begins to crumble under strain and stress, what other area can help you regain your balance (and repair the bucket, and regain your resilient self)? For my friend, it was a friend of hers who made a suggestion which lead to an action which brought about relief (for all involved). To be sure, there are still significant challenges (the bucket, after all, has experienced lots of strain) but my resilient friend has been able to catch her breath and begin to see the light from within the darkness.
Perhaps you feel like that straining bucket. Maybe you don’t, but someone close to you seems to be springing leaks faster than he or she can plug them.
When we are resilient, we tend to bounce back and adapt. Grit, another oft-used concept, looks at our perseverance to continue onward. My friend not only bounced back, she moved forward. Will her bucket run low again? Probably. Will yours? Probably.
Think of a particularly difficult or challenging situation you have in front of you this coming week. What can you do to help you regain your strength and desire to move forward (plug the bucket)? And, what can you do to move forward (begin to refill that bucket) and move toward the goal?
Who can help you? Who can you help?
Video recommendation for the week:
How can we help our children build their resilience skills? What lessons present themselves for adults?
Make it an inspiring week and H.T.R.B. as needed.
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(c) 2017. Steve Piscitelli. All rights reserved.