The Growth and Resilience Network®

(162) Aware-Care-Dare

Posted on June 30, 2013 by Steve Piscitelli

For those who do not want to settle and would like to rekindle
the passion in your calling, I suggest a three-step model.

At the conclusion of a recent presentation on non-cognitive factors of student success, a young instructor approached me to continue the conversation. While my topic was, ostensibly, about inspiring students to take responsibility for their learning, this instructor wanted to talk about what he needed to do for his teaching success. Although teaching for less than a decade, he shared that he felt like he was just going through the motions each day in class. He needed a jolt—a jump start to regain the passion for his teaching.

Our conversation at the foot of the stage carried over to lunch where a few of his colleagues joined us. To me it was obvious that they loved their calling (teaching) but they were tired and searching. Rather than thrive, they were simply attempting to survive.

While I have had similar discussions with colleagues in all parts of the nation, two things jumped out as I listened on this particular day.

These dedicated educators were aware that they needed to make adjustments. What they were doing was no longer working for them—or their students.
The fact that they initiated this conversation and wanted to change indicated that they cared. They knew there was a better way—and they were inspired to find it.

Image: Danilo Rizzuti/
FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In his book Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience, Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describes “flow as the state in which people are so involved in an activity that nothing else seems to matter.” When people are in the flow they are doing whatever they are doing for its own sake; time is lost; the experience is joyful in and of itself.

My lunch colleagues on that particular day appeared to have lost the flow; they were going through the motions—and they did not like that. I thought about people with whom I have worked over the years who either were not aware they needed to make changes; or they were aware but did not care to make the changes. They simply settled.

For those who do not want to settle and would like to rekindle the passion in your calling, I suggest a three-step model—captured in three questions:

Are you AWARE? Do you recognize the signs that you have lost (or are losing) passion for what you do each day? In a recent interview (Success Magazine, July 2013), life coach Martha Beck suggests that you write a list of what you have to do this week. Then be aware of how your body responds to each item on the list. Negative feelings? Positive feelings? Neutral feelings? The young instructor above was noticeably aware of the negative feelings he had come to experience each day in the classroom. Not because of his students; not because he despised his calling. Rather, he was losing energy because of his approach to his calling. He was aware that he had lost touch with what mattered in his delivery. He had lost the connection—and he wanted to get it back.
Do you CARE to make an adjustment? Do you want to create a new reality? Once you become aware of the need for change, what are you prepared to do about it? Start small. Establish a plan. What is one thing you can either add to or subtract from the situation? Beck suggests that you eliminate one thing from your list of to-dos that brings on negative feelings—and replace it with something more positive. Do this regularly.
What will you DARE to do? It’s one thing to say that you will do such and such. It’s quite another to actually do it. What one step can you do today that will help you rekindle the passion?

So, here is your homework. Identify something that you are aware that you need to change or adjust in order to regain your flow. Ask yourself if you care enough to make the adjustment. If you do, dare to take a step.

Video recommendation for the week:

This week’s video suggestion looks at how we can turn problems into solutions.

Enjoy your week—and H.T.R.B. as needed!

On July 15, I will offer my next webinar. The topic: Fostering Civility and Nurturing an Attitude of Gratitude. Take advantage of this complementary offering. Click here to register now for the webinar. Or go to my website for registration information.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog post. Please share it (and any of the archived posts on this site) along to friends and colleagues. You also can follow me on Twitter, LinkedIn, and Facebook. If you get a chance, visit my Facebook page and join in–or start–a conversation (www.facebook.com/stevepiscitelli). If you have suggestions for future posts, leave a comment. Make it a wonderful week!

Posted in Critical Thinking, Goals, Passion | Tagged action, awareness, critical thinking, goals, passion, problem solving | 1 Comment

(#160) 7 Steps to Help You Unplug and Reflect

Posted on June 16, 2013 by Steve Piscitelli

Personal reflection is an underlying principle of student success—
and it is often a neglected principle in everyday life. We need to (must)
take time to give considered thought to the steady flow of information
we are exposed to in daily life.

The consequences of events intimately connect to the way we respond to the events. Unfortunately, many times we find ourselves reacting rather than responding. Something happens, and without thought (or at least much thought) we immediately react.

How true that can be with our smartphones. Pay attention in your next meeting or social gathering. Phones are always at the ready. You will hear various beeps, whistles, and other assorted noises. Often, the immediate reaction is to attend to the phone in our hand—not the person in front of our eyes. There always seems to be something more pressing, more important than the human being with whom we are sharing space and conversation.

Image: Stuart Miles/
FreeDigitalPhotos.net

We exist in a fast-paced society and immediacy has become a valued commodity. Have we, however, sacrificed reflection for reaction? Personal reflection is an underlying principle of student success—and it is often a neglected principle in everyday life. We need to (must) take time to give considered thought to the fire-hosed stream of information we are constantly exposed to in daily life; time to separate the gold from the trash.

If you want to give yourself a technology break (just a little one), consider these simple actions. As with most things, start small. I am not advocating anything as extreme as throwing away all your technology. But if you find yourself in a constant state of “i-tired”—constantly having to tap your smartphone—then these suggestions might be what you need to catch your breath and charge your battery.

1. The next time you have coffee or lunch with a friend, don’t put your phone on the table. Put it out of sight and hearing. Lose the smartphone–find the personal zone.

2. When at the gym, focus on your body (breathing, muscles, and movement). Leave the phone at home, in the car or in the locker.

3. When it’s dinnertime with the family declare the table a phone-free zone.

Video recommendation for the week:

Is there such a thing as cell phone karma?

4. When you leave a meeting (or for students, when you leave a class), rather than immediately go to the phone, talk with someone who is leaving the room with you. This doesn’t have to be a lengthy conversation—just a friendly connection with a human being about what you just experienced together.

5. First thing in the morning (when you awaken), avoid the temptation to tap into your news feed or email. Why start the day on someone else’s terms? If you must connect to something on your phone first thing out of bed, download an app for inspirational quotes. Start with a great thought—not a problem or gossip.

6. Before you go to bed at night, declare a technology free time period. Say 30 to 60 minutes before you place your head on the pillow.

7. There are times when you have your phone under control—but someone else is intruding with theirs. When I am talking with someone who constantly looks at his/her phone while I am speaking, I stop mid-sentence. When the person looks at me, confused as to why I have stopped speaking, I say I didn’t want to interrupt their phone time.

Image: scottchan/
FreeDigitalPhotos.net

We may not be able to control all incoming calls/texts. And there are times, we need to be vigilant to our communication. We can, however, take more control of when and how we respond to the our phones.

Or we can lead a life of reaction where what we do is controlled by a gadget and our agenda set by other people.

Enjoy your week—and H.T.R.B. as needed!

On July 15, I will offer my next webinar. The topic: Fostering Civility and Nurturing an Attitude of Gratitude. Take advantage of this complementary offering. Click here to register now for the webinar. Or go to my website for registration information.

Posted in Appropriate Behavior, Balance, Civility | Tagged balance, cell phone etiquette, civility, connections, distractions, smartphones, technology, well-being | Leave a comment

(#159) Question-Collaborate-Question-Collaborate

Posted on June 9, 2013 by Steve Piscitelli

We need people who will stand up and question when most others remain
silent. Silence is not always an indication that all is well. It could be a warning sign
that the so-called leadership has stymied a culture of curiosity,
questioning, and dialogue.

More than fifty years ago, my father told an apocryphal story about a returning veteran. It seems the Great War was over and the whole town came out to celebrate and cheer as the returning soldiers marched down Main Street. One sweet little old woman was beaming when she spotted her son, Dominic, marching down the boulevard. Her chest pounded with pride. She did notice something a bit odd, though. While all of the other soldiers were marching “left-right-left-right”, Dominic was happily moving along at “right-left-right-left.” Not missing a beat herself, she turned to the woman next to her and said, “Isn’t it a shame. Everyone is out of step except my Dominic!”

Image: kookkai_naki/
Free DigitalPhotos.net

Sometimes we can be blinded by what we believe or do. We may think we are doing what is best, but a quick reality check might reveal our way to be totally out of step. No matter how much we say everyone else is out of step, it could be us.

Over the years (decades) though, I have come to see my father’s story in a different light. In fact, I have come to embrace Dominic the young soldier. I have found that one of the first statements thrown my way when I have to work with someone who does not like to be questioned is “You are the first person to express this confusion/frustration/problem/challenge.” The not-so-subtle intimation: “Since no one else has indicated a problem, they must all be getting it and doing the right thing. Steve, stop going ‘right-left-right-left’.”

I am also reminded (true story) of a nurse I know. Early in her nursing career, it was customary for the floor nurse to make rounds with the doctor going from room to room. One day, as this young nurse was preparing to make rounds, the doctor arrogantly thrust the patient charts in her face for her to carry. In his mind, that is what a nurse was for—carry the charts and walk behind the doctor. Everyone did it “left-right-left-right.” The nurse took umbrage, dropped the charts in the middle of the floor, and walked away. The doctor got the point, picked up the charts, and from then on referred to her as “chief.” Point in favor of “right-left-right-left”!

Image: digitalart/
FreeDigitalPhotos.net

History is full of accounts of people who had the courage to stand up and challenge wrongheaded decisions. Just because “no one else has mentioned” a problem does not mean it does not exist. Too often people decide to travel the path of least resistance. Maybe they fear for their position. Maybe they lack the courage to stand up. Maybe they just hope someone else will take care of the actual challenge—and then they can reap the rewards and “look good” as the “team player.”

Video recommendation for the week:

What have others said about courage?

I do know that we need people who—in the very name of collaboration, communication, and critical thinking—will stand up and question when most others remain silent. Silence is not always an indication that all is well. It could be a warning sign that the so-called leadership has stymied a culture of curiosity, questioning, and dialogue.

Right-left-right-left!

Enjoy your week—and H.T.R.B. as needed!

Posted in Life lessons | Tagged authority, bravery, collaboration, courage, critical thinking, fear, leadership, quetions authority | 1 Comment

(#158) Effective Leadership Embodies Influence Over Control

Posted on June 2, 2013 by Steve Piscitelli

“We can’t practice compassion with other people
if we can’t treat ourselves kindly.”
-Brené Brown-

In last week’s post, I listed my top five attributes for effective leadership. At the top of the list, I had placed the ability to build relationships. Without the talent to place people over paper/procedure, I have found that a leader’s authority is limited. He or she might have organizational power (that conferred by an organizational chart and title) but generally lacks authority (true influence) with his or her team.

Image: renjith krishnan/
FreeDigitalPhotos.net

My June issue of Inc. magazine arrived today and carries the cover story “7 Traits of True Leaders: Between Venus and Mars.” Leigh Buchanan maintains that business leadership has evolved from the “age of autocracy” through the “age of empowerment” to, now, the “age of nurture.” The qualities Buchanan found to embody today’s successful leaders all connect with the ability to build relationships:

Empathy
Vulnerability
Humility
Inclusiveness
Generosity
Balance
Patience

The effective leaders, it appears, are quite simply effective people. Period. They believe in themselves. As Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Friendship with oneself is all-important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else.”

Our effective leaders know how to influence rather than control others. They have a sense of balance when the world around appears to be devolving into all sorts of chaos. The effective leaders embrace the seven qualities above.

Researcher Brené Brown reminds us that, “We can’t practice compassion with other people if we can’t treat ourselves kindly.” How true.

I’ll close with Professor Brown’s TED talk from 2010 that has to date drawn more than 9.5 million views. There is a lesson here for not only the leaders amongst us, but all of us who want a fuller, richer, and more compassionate life.

Video recommendation for the week:

Enjoy your week—and H.T.R.B. as needed!

On June 5, I will offer a special encore edition of my personal well-being webinar. Take advantage of the special summer discount registration rate! Click here to register now for “Five Steps to Build Habits of Well-being and Balance.” Or go to my website for registration information.

Posted in leadership, Mindfulness, Motivation, Personal Wellbeing | Tagged compassion, influence, leadership, motivation, personal well-being, vulnerability | 9 Comments

(#157) Effective Leaders: From the Follower’s Perspective

Posted on May 26, 2013 by Steve Piscitelli

I would like to start with a note of thanks to all of my subscribers and readers. Today marks the beginning of my fourth year writing this weekly blog. Your comments, “likes” and suggestions have given me the energy and inspiration to write each week. Thanks to you, I have not missed a week in the last three years. Thank you for the motivation! Now, on to this week’s topic.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

While I consider myself a leader in the classroom and in my field, I realize that some may not classify me as a “leader” because I am not an administrator; I do not have to balance an institutional budget; nor do I supervise a department of staffers. In their eyes, I may well be just one of the many “followers.”

OK.

For today, I will write as a follower who appreciates effective leadership.

During my more than 30 years in education, I have had very few great leaders as supervisors. Most of the people with that title were little more than managers; and many of them did a poor job of managing. Some did no to little harm—though they did not do much of anything noteworthy. Others created chaos and moved the department or organization backward.

Image: renjith krishnan/
FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Many characteristics make up true leaders. You probably have your list. Allow me to share my short list of what the great leaders do.

Build Relationships. They connect with each member of the team on a personal level. They see “their people” as a true team—not just as names or positions on an organizational chart. A high functioning team truly cares about each member. Respect is not a word in a mission statement. It lives and breathes in the organization. The leader models this. The leader knows it is always people before paper.
Validate. The great leaders know the importance of recognition and appreciation. They truly listen and observe what their team members do. When done well, this is not idle and meaningless compliments here and there. It represents understanding and interest in what the team members do—and letting them know how they did along the way. Good leaders evaluate and teach. They provide feedback. They do not point fingers and blame. This builds confidence and competence. See #1 above.
Trust. The best supervisors I have had trusted me in all situations—even in those that could have created “political consequences” if my plan had gone south. They saw and respected me as a professional. This was not blind trust—but a relationship built over time. See items 1 and 2 above.

Video recommendation for the week:

Say “Yes!” I have written about the importance of a culture of yes—and the devastation of a culture of no. The weak managers live by the clipboard. They confuse being a “yes man” or “yes woman” with a true culture of yes. They do little more than what is needed to check off their bureaucratic to-do lists. They make a career of saying “No!” or “Let’s wait and see.” The poor managers do little more than kick issues down the road; they fear making a decision that might “not work.” The great leaders always look for effective ways to do things. They have a vision and sense of mission. Moreover, they encourage their team members to stretch and constantly take action. See items 1, 2, and 3 above—and 5 below.
Image: digitalart/
FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Take Action. I remember when I did my teaching internship as a college student. One piece of “advice” I was given was to always have papers in my hand, look toward the floor and walk quickly down the hall. This would give me the appearance of “being busy”—even when not! OMG! I am glad I never followed that recipe for nothingness. The bad managers I have had the misfortune to work under dutifully took notes in meetings; always hurried on their way to nowhere in particular; always had a false sense of urgency that made them too busy to take a phone call or connect with a person. The great leaders? Well, they always have time to stop and talk. They respond to phone calls and emails in a timely and meaningful manner. And they help the team to take action.

The great leaders build relationships by validating and trusting their teams. They say YES and they take meaningful and purposeful action. I know I have probably left off an item or two on my quick list. What characterizes an effective leader in your eyes?

Your homework this week: Reach out and validate a current or past leader in your life who has made a difference. Do it today!

Enjoy your week—and H.T.R.B. as needed!

My next webinar: On June 5, I will offer a special encore edition of my personal well-being webinar. Click here to register now for “Five Steps to Build Habits of Well-being and Balance.” Or go to my website for registration information.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog post. Please share it (and any of the archived posts on this site) along to friends and colleagues. You also can follow me on Twitter, LinkedIn, and Facebook. If you get a chance, visit my Facebook page and join in–or start–a conversation (www.facebook.com/stevepiscitelli). If you have suggestions for future posts, leave a comment. Make it a wonderful week!

Posted in leadership | Tagged leadership, manager, motivating, personal validation, relationships, teamwork, validation | 1 Comment

(#156) Putting Action Behind Your Intentions: A Call To Action!

Posted on May 19, 2013 by Steve Piscitelli

Ask yourself this question:
“What one action, if I take it today, will get me closer to my goal?”

One problem with professional development activities is follow-through. The program can be dynamic, the speaker engaging, and the audience tuned in to the topic. But if the participants to do not put the strategies into action as soon as possible, guess what happens. Those great intentions will be found at the end of the year stacked up in the corner of the office. Another case of good intentions dying for lack of a second—a second effort, that is. No return on investment. Opportunity missed. Or, at the very least, opportunity postponed.

The same fate can happen to our goals. We have great intentions. We might even have made great plans. Unfortunately, for one reason or another, doing does not follow the planning. The do is not behind the desire.

StuartMiles/
FreeDigitalPhotos.net

If you find yourself (or someone you know) in a similar situation, let me offer a plan that may jump-start your good intentions.

I typically finish my training programs with a critical thinking exercise titled “Call to Action” that encourages participants to put workshop strategies into action immediately. I now have five different formats for these calls to put dreams into action. You can use this one right now.

Video recommendation for the week:

Moving Beyond Challenges

What is the CHALLENGE you face. Be specific? What is one obstacle (emotional, physical, social, intellectual, or spiritual) that keeps you from moving to the next level with your goal? That is, why are you not moving closer to your goal? Write your response—don’t just say it. Write in a journal or type it in a computer file. Use the following questions to help you further clarify your challenge/obstacle/fear.

What is at least one ASSUMPTION you have made/are making about this challenge?

What INFORMATION do you have about this challenge—and what information do you still need? How do you know the challenge is real? What resources do you need? Who can help? Can you find a mentor? In short, how do you know that the assumptions you are making are accurate?

What CONCLUSIONS can you draw—and what is your next step toward a PLAN OF ACTION?

NOW, it’s time to take action. Not tomorrow. Today. Ask yourself this final question: “What one action, if I take it today, will get me closer to my goal?”

dan/
FreeDigitalPhotos.net

NOW, do it–and enjoy your results!

Enjoy your week—and H.T.R.B. as needed!

If you enjoyed this blog post, you may be interested in my next webinar. On June 5, I will offer a special encore edition of my personal well-being webinar. I will expand on the V.P.E.E.R. model above. Click here to register now for “Five Steps to Build Habits of Well-being and Balance.” Or go to my website for registration information.

Posted in creating your future, Critical Thinking, Dreams, Goals | Tagged action, contentment, critical thinking, dreams, goals, happiness, life success | 3 Comments

(#155) Staying Focused On Your Dream

Posted on May 12, 2013 by Steve Piscitelli

On your way to realization, you need to go from visualization
to verbalization to transformation.

Being able to teach my student success classes continues to be a wonderful personal learning experience. As I tell my students (continually), a student success class is so much more than how to take notes or score high on tests. The class—when taught properly—is a life success laboratory. So many practical strategies; so many useful exercises and life lessons.

One activity that I learned years ago from a mentor of mine (Terry Whisnant) always creates a lot of energy. Called “My New Best Friend,” it is an energizing ice-breaker exercise. You can structure questions to meet the needs of your particular situation. I have had success with:

What is your name?
Why are you with us (in this class; this training; this career; this team….)?
What do you have to offer?
What is your dream?

Image: sheelamohan/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

The third and fourth questions typically draw the most interest and reaction. “What do you have to offer?” allows a person to dig deep and share what he/she brings to a situation. Do you offer our group patience, a sense of humor, or a particular skill? I find many people have never thought about this. They are better equipped to answer “What do you do?” Or, “Do you have kids?” Or “What do you want to become?” In other words, they are more apt to identify a role than an attribute or contribution. Some people have never been encouraged to focus on what gifts they offer to the world.

How would you answer the question, “What do you offer?”

The other question that always brings about thoughtful response is “What is your dream?” I did this exercise recently in a faculty professional development session. People paired with someone they did not know (or did not know well). When I asked for some volunteers to share with the larger group what they learned about their “new best friend,” people were surprised. We heard about one person’s desire to work with rescue dogs. Another surprised her co-workers with a desire to become a florist.

Each person learned something new about their colleagues. More importantly, each person in that room had the opportunity to verbalize an aspiration.

Just giving voice to these dreams can be motivating; a great step to move from the fantasy to the goal to reality realm. On our way to realization, we need to go from visualization to verbalization to transformation. I have found that for many of my students this exercise represents the first time anyone has ever asked them to share a dream; has ever taken interest in what they may want to do with their lives.

What is your dream?

This week, identify and commit to doing one thing that will get you closer to your dream. Ben Franklin reminded us long ago that, “Energy and persistence conquer all things.”

Video recommendation for the week:

Enjoy your week—and H.T.R.B. as needed!

Posted in Dreams, Goals | Tagged dream, goals, personal validation, piscitelli, steve piscitelli, success, visualization\ | 2 Comments

(#154) What Is Shaping Your Reality?

Posted on May 5, 2013 by Steve Piscitelli

Positive psychology tells us what we
visualize creates our reality.

At the end of each semester, my intent is to leave my students with one final lesson that will bring together a few of the main topics and teachings of the past sixteen weeks. I have never liked simply ending with the students handing in their exams or me simply returning a final grade. That seems like such an anti-climatic end.

Each semester’s end sees a bit of a different twist. Some semesters the students engage in the Marshmallow Challenge. Other times, I have finished with a session addressing change. And there have been semesters where we looked at how excuses can derail the march toward our dreams.

This term, I presented the students with a five-step model to help them move toward a life of well-being and balance.

Jamaican Rainbow:
Photo by Steve Piscitelli

On June 5, I will be facilitating a webinar on this topic. For today, let me give you the overview of these five steps using the acronym V-PEER ™.

Visualize. If you want a life of well-being and balance, start by visualizing what that looks like to you. Be as specific as you can. Write it down.
Prioritize. How are you investing your time? Do you know—really know—where your days, weeks, and months go? It’s difficult to move toward the goal with any consistency if you have not carved out the time to take care of the non-negotiable elements of your life.
Exorcise. Identify any fears that may be holding you back. Are they real? Imagined? Insurmountable?
Exercise. We all have six dimensions of life. Each one has an impact on the other. Which is your strongest? Weakest? How can you strengthen and enhance each one?
Realize. If you faithfully follow the four steps above (visualize, prioritize, exorcise, and exercise) you will have a wonderful chance of realizing—reaching—your visualized state of well-being and balance.

Video recommendation for the week:

Positive Psychology tells us that what we visualize shapes our reality.

What is shaping your reality of well-being and balance?

Enjoy your week—and H.T.R.B. as needed!

If you enjoyed this blog post, you may be interested in my next webinar. On June 5, I will offer a special encore edition of my personal well-being webinar. I will expand on the V.P.E.E.R. model above. Click here to register now for “Five Steps to Build Habits of Well-being and Balance.” Or go to my website for registration information.

Posted in Balance, happiness, Personal Wellbeing | Tagged balance, exercise, happiness, health, positive psychology, vizualization, well-being | 10 Comments

(#153) Who Is Responsible For You?

Posted on April 28, 2013 by Steve Piscitelli

Want a better life? Then take the next step.
-First-Year College Student-

Before I facilitate any workshop, I find it invaluable to invest a few hours speaking with the folks with whom I will be working. It helps build a connection and we make sure we “nail it” for the participants. Everyone benefits from the pre-workshop preparation.

Recently, I received some thoughts from a school I will be visiting in New Jersey. Although the thoughts and questions are timeless regarding student success, they did make me pause and consider (again!) what, how, and why we do what we do in the classroom.

The topics my Garden State colleague graciously shared with me can be summarized as follows:

How do we (the educators) engage students so they want their education? (As my colleague said, “No one dragged them here.”)
How do we get students to want to read?
How do we get students to take responsibility for their education?
How do we get students to think about making/leaving this world a little bit better?
How do we get them to think beyond just getting a job?

Those are all GREAT questions—and universal in education. Effective teachers want to know how to connect with their students and develop a sense of caring about their (the students’) education. We design our lessons so our students can see relevance to their lives. Moreover, today’s students bring in different skills and expectations than their predecessors in higher education. The effective teachers work to meet the students where they are and coach them to a place of meaning and contribution.

Having said that, there is an cliché–and a twist–I share with my students: You can lead a horse to water—but can’t make him drink. But you can make him thirsty!

Image: sheelamohan/FreeDigitalPhotos.net

In my experience, if the student does not care, then there is not much the teacher (or anyone else) can do. It is very hard to counter “I don’t care.”

However, for the vast majority of my students, it is not that they don’t care; it’s that they have not yet made education a “non-negotiable” part of their lives. I start with that premise and constantly come back to it with my students. Part of what we (the teachers) have to do at the beginning of the term is establish a mindset and vocabulary that grounds the experience.

While we cannot make them drink, we can develop a thirst!

I shared my colleague’s questions (above) with my students. I told them that I had no problem answering the questions. I did want, however, their student perspective. I found their response to item number three most telling. When it comes to who should take responsibility for their education, here is a representative sampling of what my students had to say:

In my 21 years of life, I have learned you can’t make a person do anything.
Students are the ones responsible for their own education.
Letting students know the benefits that can be reaped…not only material but also the emotional, the dignity, the feeling of accomplishment; the rewards are unending.
Ultimately, it is up to the student, but having a family-like environment with your class goes a long way.
Encourage students to get involved; to think; to question
It would be utopian to have a class that you can reach with one method but the reality is you can’t.
Well, the teachers should personally connect and motivate their students; but at the same time, there is really nothing much a teacher can do. The student has to really want it; at the end of the day, a student is going to do whatever they want.
Don’t allow excuses; give them the opportunity to make decisions on their own…decisions that will affect their lives.
Tell them they’re responsible for the choices they make. No one got anywhere sitting around and complaining about life. Want a better life? Then take the next step. There are plenty of resources to help students [on campus].

Video recommendation for the week:

Oprah speaks about taking responsibility for ourselves.

Teachers can’t make a student take responsibility…they have to want it.
You hold each and every student accountable for their own actions. Actions cannot be taken back…only improved upon.
Students need encouragement—encouragement they don’t hear anywhere else.
Remove students who do not want to succeed in school.
Don’t baby them. This is a world where the strong survive…let them sink or swim
You can’t; they have to want it for themselves.
I honestly don’t know.

All the responses shared (for the most part) one of two themes:

It helps to have encouragement and connection with the teacher; and
Your education is your responsibility.

Just like life.

Enjoy your week—and H.T.R.B. as needed!

On May 4, I will offer a special Saturday edition webinar. Click here to register now for “Habits of Well-being and Balance.” Or go to my website for registration information.

Posted in responsibility | Tagged life lessons, life success, power, responsibility, success, will | 6 Comments

(#152) P.T.M.: What Is Your Calling?

Posted on April 21, 2013 by Steve Piscitelli

No matter what we do,
we owe it to ourselves, the task at hand, and the people around us
to do it with pride and integrity.

I started class this past week by showing a slide with three letters:
P-T-M.

During the final semester unit of material for my student success class, I orchestrate a number of activities to encourage my students to dig a little deeper, ask themselves a few more personal questions, and continue to consider what calling they are preparing themselves for in life.

I always find this unit as motivating and enlightening for me as it is for my students. Each time I lead them through the exercises, I am rejuvenated. They remind me to reflect on what I am doing, why I am doing it, and what adjustments I need to make (or not make).

I encourage you to take a few quiet moments and do the same exercises. They can help find perspective. Are you following your passions? Are you playing to your strengths? Do you recognize our talents? Are you honest about why you do what you do?

Here is the sequencing:

1. Divide a piece of paper into four equal quadrants. Label them as such: likes, dislikes, strengths, and challenges. For my students, I prompt them to begin with things such as classes they like (and why); the classes they do not like (and why); the types of people they like to associate with and those they wish to avoid; what environments energize them (or drain them); their preference (avoidance) for conditions like change, stability, continuity, and flexibility. Similarly, they list strengths and challenges such as characteristics that have fostered their growth (or hindered their growth); ability to collaborate; success as a self-starter; and problem solving capabilities.

James Barker/
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The culmination of this activity: “Based on my likes and strengths, I would like to study a college major that allows me to _____.” Based on my dislikes and challenges, I would like to avoid a college major that requires me to _____.”

You may find it more appropriate to relate this to your career field—especially if you feel like you are floundering now. When you are done, identify any insights you might have had.

2. We then review a list of some 25 or 30 job characteristics that I title as “Values at Work.” In short, they review the characteristics and check whether each is of high importance, medium importance, low importance or no importance when it comes to a future career. The items listed for them include advancement, autonomy, collaboration, status, high salary, tranquility, change, security, and achievement.

For you, list the values that are most important to you in your calling. What must you have? What is not that important? What are your non-negotiables and your negotiables when it comes to a career? Do they exist in the job you know have? If not, what can you do about that? Any insights?

Image: digitalart/
FreeDigitalPhotos.net

3. I then ask students to make a list of their talents—what do they do well? This is followed by a listing of their passions—those thing/activities/conditions that excite them? What do they love to do? Do the lists of talents and passions coincide? Are they different? Any insights?

4. Back to P-T-M. I place a Venn diagram on the board of three intersecting circles. I label one circle PASSION, one circle TALENT, and one circle MONEY. I explain that at times we can pursue a career because it pays us well for a talent we possess; however, we may have no passion for this work. At other times we might have a passion and talent, but the money does not follow. The sweet spot for a calling, I maintain, is when we can find the intersection of all three circles—when we do something we have a passion and talent for AND someone will pay us to do it! It is not always possible. It is, I believe though, a worthy goal.

The Intersection of P-T-M:
The Sweet Spot!

As I said on this blog before, “The reminder for me is that no matter what we do, we owe it to ourselves, the task at hand, and the people around us to do it with pride and integrity.”

Video recommendation for the week:

A powerful story of one man who has thrived regardless of challenges.

Enjoy your week—and H.T.R.B. as needed!

Check out the new “Updates” feature on my website.

Posted in Passion | Tagged calling, career choice, contentment, happiness, integrity, life success, motivation, passion, talent | 3 Comments

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A functioning community moves beyond listing and reciting core values. It shares and lives those values. And, it provides a safe place for its members to explore, stretch, learn, fail, and grow.

Steve is not a life coach and does not provide legal advice. He facilitates conversations and helps raise and confront important questions about what we do, why we do it, and how we do it.
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