Be the person you want to be
on the way to being the person you want to be!
The New Year always brings calls for new beginnings, resolutions, and renewal. At the risk of adding to the cliché catalogue of exhortations, I want to challenge you to think and act boldly in 2014.
Deepak Chopra reminds us that “inner happiness can become obscured by constricted awareness, limiting thought patterns, and emotional turmoil.” We can stymie ourselves if we constantly make happiness contingent upon external forces. We can dash our own dreams if we constantly wait for “the right time” to do this or that.
In her book Daring Greatly, Brené Brown says that to dare greatly we have to believe we are worthy. We must believe in ourselves. That begins with action—small steps to larger goals. Too often we might find ourselves kicking the can down the road. “I will do [you fill in the blank] when the holidays are over or the in-laws leave or the kids go to school or the house is paid off or Junior graduates from college or…..” The list goes on and on.
Voltaire said it best, “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” Realistically, there will probably never be a “perfect” time to do what you want. And you will never get it just “perfect.” Waiting on “perfect” does not get you closer to your dream. It can become a powerful excuse. But there is this time (now) to move closer to your dream. Repeat after me, “Now is my time.”
Here is your homework:
- Imagine your dream. What is it that you want to do, achieve, or be? Be bold. Be true to yourself.
- Example: I see myself in a career where I make a difference in the lives of people around me. It is not a job—it is a calling.
- Imagine you have reached your dream. How do you look, act, or feel?
- Example: I feel confident. I walk with an air of accomplishment. I smile. I have learned to listen more and talk less. I am a nutritious person for those around me.
- Be the dream NOW. Start behaving like you have reached the dream.
- Example. Smile, listen, and nurture now—on your way to your dream. Why wait? Be the person you want to be on the way to being the person you want to be!
The time to act, look, speak, and feel like your dream is not when you get there. Do it along the journey to the destination. If you are authentic (living and pursuing a dream that resonates with your core) then the actions will ring true within your heart. Brené Brown says that when we live whole-heartedly we cultivate (pp. 9-10):
- Authenticity
- Self-compassion
- A resilient spirit
- Gratitude and joy
- Intuition and a trusting faith
- Creativity
- Calm and stillness
- Meaningful work
- Laughter, song, and dance
Are you living your life or someone else’s life? If your happiness is contingent upon what others think or do, then you will forever be living a contingent life—contingent on whether someone else approves of your dreams.
The world needs you and your authentic and virtuous vision. Remember, others may think you are crazy—but you just may need that craziness to make your world (and ours!) a better place. YOU have a lot to offer.
Video recommendation for the week:
In the words of the iconic Apple commercial: “Here’s to the crazy ones…because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do!”
DO NOT let anyone tell you that you CANNOT be bold, daring, and authentic.
Choose well. Live well. Be well—and H.T.R.B. as needed!
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog post. Please share it (and any of the archived posts on this site) with friends and colleagues. You also can follow me on Twitter, LinkedIn, and Facebook. If you get a chance, visit my Facebook page and join in–or start–a conversation (www.facebook.com/stevepiscitelli). If you have suggestions for future posts, leave a comment.
Make it a wonderful week—and a wonderful New Year!
Check out my website (www.stevepiscitelli.com) for programming information as well as details about upcoming webinars (http://stevepiscitelli.com/webinars.html).
(c) 2014. Steve Piscitelli. All rights reserved.
The Growth and Resilience Network® 
You practice what you preach, Steve. And I’m right there beside practicing your 3 B’s for 2014.
I have always thought of my work at FSCJ as a calling, not a job. I suppose I think about my writing in this new phase of my life as a calling too. It’s a joy, not a job.
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I’ve always liked the saying “Happiness is where the heart is.” I have had the privilege of going and doing mission work in South Africa, and it’s really an eye opener when you see the poverty these people live in. Yet there’s always that one inspiring person who always has a grin on their face. It really makes you think about what happiness really is to you, and what you are/ are not doing to find it. Or as Professor Piscitelli said about distancing yourself from “energy vampires” and surrounding yourself with people who love and support you. It really makes you think that maybe money, the latest gadget or fancy clothes aren’t the answer. It’s what makes you happy on the inside. 🙂
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A good friend shared an insightful quote: “Wherever you go, there you are.” We do well to know ourselves.
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I want to accomplish my dreams by graduating from college and going on to pursue my career in criminal justice. It has been so many obstacles in my way but I wont let that stop me.
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Stay focused on specific actions. When obstacles present themselves, step back and evaluate what has happened. Do you need to change direction? Find a mentor? Find resources?
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I really like how you have explained what a B.O.D is and who should be involved with it. I am currently at this stage in planning my organization. I literally don’t know who could fill the positions. I have so many people telling me I can’t do it , and I can’t start because I don’t have enough money or all kinds of excuses. I am starting to doubt it myself. I feel as though my passion will not let me just give up my dream just because of what others are saying. I have my family support (some) but they have their own lives to live and don’t have the time to participate with my dream. At this point in time I am very discouraged and find it hard to focus on the next steps because I’m to busy finding excuses why I can not proceed.
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Our own questions, some times, can stop us cold. Your BOD can help you move forward. Start with one trusted person and move from there! Best wishes!
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