(#381) Before and After the Conversation

Conversation presupposes an interaction between two or more people.
Synergy can develop with due consideration.
Collaboration can result in movement for improvement.

Ever notice how what passes for conversation usually is anything but conversation.  Look around and you will observe lots of monologues.  Everyone talks, few listen. And fewer seem to appreciate what others have to say. Rather than listen, we formulate our response before the person finishes her thought.

Digital connection is not the same as conversation.  “Mansplaining” does not count either.

If you want to build community, you need true conversation.  But do we know how to converse anymore?

Video recommendation for the week.

In this TED Talk, you will hear ten simple suggestions (yet often ignored or forgotten) for true conversation. Sad, isn’t it, that these basic practices of civility have been lost. Maybe they are no longer taught.

Think of The Three Cs

Conversation benefits if we focus on what comes before and what follows.

  • Consideration. Before we start talking, stop and think.  Reflect on the issue at hand. Don’t immediately put your opinions on the table. Listen. Be present and respectful.
  • Conversation. Once you have been able to consider the issue, the facts, the opinions, the options, and the unanswered questions, you can begin to have a respectful and meaningful dialogue. No collective monologues or harangues allowed. You and your team can work on the vision. This creates to pathways and builds bridges.
  • Collaboration. With the thought and talk given their due, you can now engage in the work of doing what needs to be done.

Conversation presupposes an interaction between two or more people. Synergy can develop with due consideration. Collaboration can result in movement for improvement.

Make it an inspiring week and H.T.R.B. as needed.

For information about and to order my new book, Stories About Teaching, Learning, and Resilience: No Need to be an Island, click here.

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My podcasts: The Growth and Resilience Network™ (http://stevepiscitelli.com/media-broadcast/podcast).

My programs and webinars: website  (http://stevepiscitelli.com/programs/what-i-do) and (http://stevepiscitelli.com/programs/webinars).

Pearson Education publishes my student textbooks for life success—Choices for College Success (3rd edition) and Study Skills: Do I Really Need This Stuff? (3rd edition).

(c) 2017. Steve Piscitelli. All rights reserved.

About stevepiscitelli

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This entry was posted in collaboration, Communication, Community, consideration, conversation, Life lessons and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to (#381) Before and After the Conversation

  1. Modwyn says:

    I use this TED Talk in my first-year writing courses. We watch the talk, discuss the principles, and then experiment with oppositional conversational styles, which I’ve adapted from Deborah Tannen’s research. We discuss introverted/extroverted conversation modes and collaborative/competitive modes. It’s a rather fun class with lots of role playing!


  2. Great idea to use the opposite styles. Nicely played! 🙂


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