The first step is to recognize (be aware of) which BUT is taking control.
Then make the decision to kiss your BUT goodbye!
I have written on this blog before about excuses and how they can derail our plans and dreams (#107 If You Don’t Want a Target on Your BUTT, Put a Target on Your BUT!; #28 Ustabees, Liketodos, and Willtodos; #16 How Big Is Your BUT?). Today I want to focus on specific BUTs. Here are ten BUTs that have the potential to keep your life in neutral–or maybe slip into reverse. Some overlap. Maybe one or two creep into your life more times than you would like to admit.
The first step is to recognize (be aware of) which BUT is taking control. Then make the decision to kiss your BUT goodbye!
The Top Ten Big BUTs
- The Fearful BUT. This looms large for many people. It can be paralyzing. The fear factors can be many. The economy, opinions of people, lack of confidence, and lack of support (financial, social, or occupational) can cause fear to raise its head.
- The Fatal Resignation BUT. This BUT plays out for people who have convinced themselves that their life “is what it is” and nothing will ever change. To make a change would require rewriting their autobiography–and they are quite comfortable with their autobiography, thank you!
- The Whiny BUT. This can end up being a close cousin to the Fatal Resignation BUT. “I would do it BUT, you don’t understand what I go through.” Or “Easy for you to do what you want. I would too BUT everyone is against me.” Yes, we don’t live in another person’s skin. And yes, we don’t know what they have to live with. And no, this does not make light of difficult situations. The point is, if all we do is whine about the adversity we face nothing will change.
- The Self-Serving BUT. This person will move forward BUT only if you do something for him. Action is predicated on what the payback will be.
- The Time BUT. I lot of my students DO have a lot on their plates. Between child care, transportation
challenges, work, relationship issues, and adjusting to college expectations, they can easily fall into this trap. “I would work with a tutor in the Success Center BUT I just don’t have the time.” The problem, though, is not time. It is priority management. Don’t blame time. Review your priorities.
- The Blaming BUT. We have all heard this cognitive trap. “It’s not my fault! I would have been on time BUT the traffic on that bridge is always backed up.” Really? If it is always backed up, then why don’t you leave earlier? “I would BUT I can’t get up in time.” Why don’t you go to bed earlier? “I have tried BUT you just don’t understand!” (See Whiny BUT and/or Fatalistic Resignation BUT above.)
- The Rationalizing BUT. This person has a reason why she is not doing what she knows she needs to do–or what she says she would like to do. Her intentions might be great. She has difficulty translating intentions into action. “I know I should lose ten pounds BUT I am under a lot of stress now. I’ll do it later.” This person is always waiting for the perfect situation to present itself. (See Fear BUT, Time BUT, and Money BUT.)
- The Lying BUT. This person has no intention of moving forward or changing or doing what he says he will do. He can use any of the other nine BUTs on this list as a way to cover his true intentions.
- The Money BUT. This can be closely tied with the Rationalizing BUT. “I would start my exercise program today BUT I don’t have the money for gym membership.” Maybe you could just begin walking around the neighborhood? “I would BUT I need a good pair of walking shoes.” (See Rationalizing BUT.)
- The Lazy BUT. This is pretty basic. Pick any of the BUTs above, strip away the reasoning and get to the core: This person is not motivated to change. The couch is comfortable. The jeans are not that tight. I don’t like my job BUT it is just too much trouble to go back to school or look for other employment.
Video recommendation for the week:
Wayne Dyer speaks of “mind viruses.” The BUTs above can become mind viruses. They can infect our thoughts and translate into action–or more pointedly, they will lead to INACTION.
Which BUTs are affecting your life, your progress, and your dreams? What can you do about that today?
Enjoy your week—and H.T.R.B.as needed!
REGISTER NOW for my November 28, 2012 P.D.Q. Webinar “Year in Review: Get Ready for Your Best Year Ever!” Click here or paste this link into your web browser: https://attendee.gotowebinar.com/register/2425700017577251072
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog post. Please pass it (and any of the archived posts on this site) along to friends and colleagues. You can also follow me on Twitter, LinkedIn, and Facebook. If you get a chance, visit my Facebook page and join in–or start–a conversation (www.facebook.com/stevepiscitelli). Also, if you have suggestions for future posts, leave a comment. Have a wonderful week!
© 2012. Steve Piscitelli.