At times, the stories we tell ourselves and the stories we live contradict one another.

[Note: Before you leave this post, check out the video link at the end.]

One exercise I did with my students and national audiences was to ask them to list their top three life priorities. Then they’d list the three things that took up most of their time week in and week out. When they compared the two sides, they often found there were disconnections between the stories they told themselves and the stories they lived.

We can easily get caught up in the “noise” around us.  Those people, things, or issues that distract us from our priorities are more than likely what we have allowed into our lives.  The wrong things end up pushing the right things to the side.  We end up doing a lot of stuff—but not the right stuff.

Sure, emergencies arise or life intrudes. But if the result is (more times than not) that the things on the priority list are pushed aside, then, maybe, they aren’t the priorities like you think they are. Perhaps they are what you’d like to do, but what you ultimately do reflects your priorities.

I was reminded of the above as I recently read three books.

• Julie McFadden’s Nothing to Fear: Demystifying Death to Live More Fully. A hospice nurse, McFadden explained that her patients had a terminal diagnosis and (typically) about six months to live. They received palliative care as they transitioned toward their final breath. A question the patients (and their families) had to face was how they wanted to live those remaining days.
• Atul Gawande’s Being Mortal: Medicine and What Matters in the End. Doctor Gawande examines how medicine needs to move beyond treating for mere survival to fostering a good life. At one point in his book, he states, “How we seek to spend our time may depend on how much time we perceive ourselves to have.”
• Pema Chodron’s How We Live is How We Die. Steeped in Tibetan teachings, Chodron’s book title succinctly states her premise.

So, this got me thinking, if I were told I had six months to live, what journey would I choose? What would my priorities be? Would they be different than what they are now? Would I feel more urgency to put aside the noise and embrace the peace? What would I do differently? What would I do the same?

Activity

At the top of a piece of paper, write If I Only Had Six Months to Live. Draw a line down the middle of the page. On the left side, list those things you WOULD DO; the actions, people, practices, etc. that would rise to the top of your priority action list. On the right side of the page, write the things that rise to the top of what you WOULD NOT DO; those things you would do your best to avoid at all costs. Perhaps, like me, you will continue to add to and edit your lists.

As I look at my lists, I’m reminded of well-set boundaries and limits and whether I’m paying attention to them in my life. My WOULD DO and WOULD NOT DO lists reflect these.

While this may seem like an esoteric exercise, I find it reminds me to focus on what is healthy, kind, and nurturing—for me and others.

Video recommendation for the week:

This video has risen to the third-most-viewed video on my YouTube channel.  I conducted the demonstration about 13 years ago in one of my classes. It is an excellent metaphor for how we can let other agendas crowd out our goals.

The video comes to you in three parts: (1) the setup; (2) the problem; and (3) the conclusion and lesson.  Listen to the observations and thoughts from the people participating in this video with me.

Classroom teachers who may be reading this blog: Consider this as one way to introduce and/or reinforce the concept of priority management to your students. You could actually show it in three segments: pause the video after each segment, have the students write a reflection, and then conclude with a group discussion.

Office managers, consider it a reminder for your team to focus on the right stuff.

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You will find more about me at www.stevepiscitelli.com.

And you can still order:

• My first novel, The Voice in Your Ear, was released on September 17, 2024. You can order the book (e-book or print copy) here. If you’d like to hear the song I wrote and recorded as the soundtrack for the book, click here. (P.S. Thank you for taking a chance on a “first-time” novelist.)
• Sharing Wisdom Across the Ages: From Elementary School to Retirement (eBook and paperback versions) was released on January 1, 2023. Click here for more information.
• Roxie Looks for Purpose Beyond the Biscuit (2020) is available in eBook and paperback formats. Click here.
• Community as a Safe Place to Land (2019, print and e-book) is available on Amazon. The above link provides more information (including seven free podcast episodes spotlighting the book’s seven core values).
• Stories about Teaching: No Need to be an Island (2017, print and e-book). Available on Amazon. One college’s new faculty onboarding program used the scenarios in this book. Contact me if you and your team are interested in doing the same. The accompanying videos could stimulate community-building conversations at the beginning of a meeting.

©2025. Steve Piscitelli
The Growth and Resilience Network®
Atlantic Beach, Florida